Reaching New Heights

Friday, February 16th, 2018

Have you ever tried to perform a simple task and just failed 100%? If you're anything like me, this is a common everyday experience. Whether it's simply opening the refrigerator or walking down to school while eating oatmeal out of a bowl, there's always a simple way to mess it up. Today though, I reached new heights previously thought unattainable.

It started off like any other disputatio. I plopped my bag down on the chair, and took out the black academic robe that you're required to wear at our end-of-the-week gathering. Rachel, Ben, and Mandy were in the row behind me, and as I put one arm through the freely flowing folds of the first sleeve, I began talking with them about something or other. As I continued to talk, I twisted the rest of the robe around my back and grabbed it as best I could with my other arm. (Remember, this whole time I'm trying to keep up a conversation.) But the sleeve for my left arm was nowhere to be found. Somehow it got lost in the twistyness of the robe. By and by though I found the hole and got my arm through it... but then Rachel laughed and I realized that something was wrong, both by her verbal cue and by the sudden realization that my robe was now thoroughly convorted in some convoluted labyrinth of a spider web that my arm was now trapped in. Something was basically wrong. I tried to extract my arm from this tricky trap, and after several seconds of flopping my arm around like a freshly caught salmon on the deck of a boat, I finally freed my arm from the bonds of confinement. Now it wasn't just Rachel laughing, but Ben and Mandy too. At times like these it's often best to just restart from scratch, so I cast off my chains and took another swing at it. This ended arguably worse than my first attempt, for I couldn't even get my first arm in. Thankfully Benjamin, who was standing to the right of me, had my six and prevented me from further consternation by holding my robe for me as I put it on. We all had a good laugh and at last I took to my seat, feeling only slightly conspicuous.

So there we have it. I don't know why it gave me so much trouble this week. Perhaps had I thought to untangle my robe after it'd been bounced about in my bag all day it'd've turned out all right. Or maybe it's the fact that I evidently can't multi-task very well. I'm still not quite sure. Either way, what's done is done and there's nothing left to do about it except look back and chuckle. Or laugh. That's how my Friday went, and boy I tell ya, life's never boring!