Article 4, Section 2c

I have recently received several notes from various peoples asking where they can access the 'Handbook for Definitions of Commonly Politicized Vocabulary,' but unfortunately this Handbook is as of yet unfinished and so remains unpublished. It is therefore not yet open to the public. However, out of the deep magnanimity of my soul, as well as for the beneficence, moral uplifting, and overall well-being of my truly inquisitive readers whose curiosity is insatiable, I have decided to bequeath to them the portion of said handbook referenced in a previous manuscript of mine, that they might discover for themselves the intent with which I as of late spoke, and also that they might be saved from hearing a less accurate representation of the definition of the term they seek were they to hear my humble attempt to describe the matter in its fullness to them, such potential inaccuracies being due, not to any irrationality or fallacy in my reasoning, but rather to the frailty and infirmity of the cognitive faculties to recall all that has transpired to bring one to a particular conclusion and to communicate clearly and precisely the meaning one is attempting to convey. And so, without further ado, here is that portion of the 'Handbook for Definitions of Commonly Politicized Vocabulary' under question. For context, the entirety of Section 2 has been included.

Article 4, Section 2a

'Lady', in its broadest definition, is simply another term for 'woman', 'female of the human species', 'girl', and other such words. It is a bit higher in register compared to the examples just given, which makes it a suitable word to use when one finds oneself in high society. For, in such situations, one does not simply say, "That woman gave me a glass of champagne." Rather, one should say, "That lady over there was so kind as to give me this glass of champagne." For reasons such as these, the term 'lady' can be used in this more general sense of the word.

Section 2b

However, sometimes 'lady' has a narrower definition. Used in this fashion, one needs to be more than simply a female human being to be called a 'lady'. The sort of woman who merits to be called this must possess, if not all, at least several, of the traits and/or qualities here to be mentioned: She must be kind, know the difference between right and wrong and act accordingly, and be mentally tough. A lady holds herself respectably and appropriately in regard to the situation at hand. (This in no way implies the necessity of having an eternal air of stoicism; for a more complete treatment of this topic, refer to Article 1, Section 3 of this handbook.) She is always willing to help wherever she can, and she pays attention to those around her and offers words of encouragement when needed. She is an example of moral living and treats others how she herself would like to be treated. These are some of the qualities of a lady.

Section 2c

The definition of 'lady' in the previous section is fairly strenuous, and is by far the most narrow definition. It requires more than a casual glance to tell if a woman is a lady or not. This third definition strikes a middle ground between the other two usages, in that it still carries some, but not all, of the implied virtue of the second usage, and yet applies almost, though not quite, as extensively as the first. Basically, you assume a woman is a lady until she demonstrates otherwise. What ramifications does this have then? Shall we treat women differently on the grounds of whether they're a lady or not? I am going to presume that the person reading is this is in fact a lady or gentleman, which means that, by definition, they will treat people as they would themselves like to be treated. So no, there shouldn't be too much of a difference. What about greeting people in the marketplace then? Did what we say about greeting various people based on whether they were this type of person, or that type of person, or a lady, mean anything at all? Well, yes and no. In effect, you will end up greeting women as if they were ladies, even if they aren't. This may seem to nullify the distinctions we made regarding various usages of the term 'lady', and maybe it does. Perhaps there is no discrepancy between 'lady' and 'woman' besides one being in a higher register. But I would like to posit that there is still a bit of truth behind my thinking. In the right context, calling someone a lady can be a high form of praise to their character, or, on the other hand, a simple gesture of goodwill in assuming the best of someone.

Section 2d

The attentive reader might then ask two questions: "What if I myself am a lady, how then should I greet other ladies?" To which I would reply that, not being a lady myself and not having done much thought on this angle of the discussion, I don't know. Go ask your mother or a person whose opinion you respect on the matter. And the second question they might ask is: "Why did we even bring up this whole discussion to begin with? Might it have been easier to just simply state "In the right context, calling someone a lady can be a high form of praise to their character, or, on the other hand, a simple gesture of goodwill in assuming the best of someone." from the get-go?" Yes. It would have been easier. But it would also have been much less profitable to everyone involved, myself included. It is a good thing to reason through why we do some of the things we do instead of simply just doing them. That way we can more fully understand what's actually going on, and sometimes even conclude that we're doing it wrong. Intuition is great, but when combined with reasoning to understand why it seems right, it's even better. Perhaps someone will point out an inaccuracy in my current way of thinking, and I'll have to come back and change or add to what I've written. And that's fine. It's part of the process of becoming wise. My hope is that this has been a good exercise in the cultivation of wisdom, and that we will sharpen our reasoning capabilities through thinking about why we do the things we do.

How To Greet People 101

It is not uncommon for two people to greet one other when they see each other in the marketplace, or around town, or anywhere for that matter. Especially if these two people know each other, and even more so if they deem each other friends. But what sort of greeting is appropriate for each scenario? Are there more situations that would require a different sort of greeting? Everybody has their own unique answers to these questions, even if they haven't considered them directly. Here, though, I will tell you my thoughts on the subject, and explain why I greet people the way I do.

1. Greeting Random People

First off, I'll mention that sometimes this is necessary (or at least called for). Perhaps you were looking at them somewhat more intently than usual because they looked like someone you know, but it turns out they were just some random person. And then they notice you staring at them. You might want to greet them in some form or fashion to avoid social awkwardness. This reason also applies for those times when you make eye contact with people as you walk by. All that to say, greeting random people can be justified. So, if I'm going to greet a stranger, I first ask myself a few questions before greeting them:

1. Are they by a significant margin my elder?  = significant downward nod

2. Are they significantly younger than me?  = slight upward nod

3. Are they a potential threat?  = slight click of the mouth, no-nonsense facial expression

4. Are they my equal?  = slight upward nod

5. Are they a lady?  = significant downward nod

[PLEASE NOTE: 'Lady' is a specific term and is not synonymous with 'woman', 'girl', or 'person of the feminine gender'. Used in this particular context, it has an even narrower domain than how I usually use the term. For more details on my usage of this term in the context of this writing, please refer to Article 4, Section 2c of the 'Handbook for Definitions of Commonly Politicized Vocabulary,' or contact the author directly during standard business hours, 9am-5pm, Mon-Fri.]

2. Greeting People You Know

This category is much the same as greeting random people, but with a few exceptions:

1. Are they by a significant margin my elder or my superior?  = significant downward nod, pleasant smile/grin if appropriate

2. Are they significantly younger than me or my inferior?  = significant upward nod, smile of approbation

3. Are they a potential threat?  = slight click of the mouth, no-nonsense facial expression

4. Are they my equal?  = upward nod, smile/grin if appropriate

5. Are they a lady?  = significant downward nod

3. Greeting Friends

If you happen to have any special greeting with a particular friend, this is the time to use it. Otherwise... give them a very exaggerated significant upward nod, and hold your head back for a brief moment. This is a sure sign of friendship, for by revealing your jugular veins you put yourself in a unique place of vulnerability and thus demonstrate the strong trust you have with that friend.

Alpacas, Jex, and Lambdas

Saturday, August 25, 2018

I looked at the counter. Amongst a host of standard issue counter-top items sat a pair of salt and pepper shakers. But these weren't you're average ordinary everyday S.A.P. shakers, no; they were two little alpacas, one white and one brown. I stopped mid-sentence and had to point out how wonderful they were to Brooke. They were objectively cute, there was no way a person could deny it. If I ever get around to buying S.A.P shakers, I'd definitely try to find some like these.

Later, I finished taking Jex on a walk. She got sprayed by a skunk. Again. *sigh.. But as I started walking away, I turned my head for one last look. There she was, sitting in the opening of the gate, ears perked, eyes full of longing, begging for me not to leave; she was the canine epitome of quintessential pulchritude. I wanted to turn around and pet her one more time, but, having already did this once, had to keep walking and leave her behind.

At dinnertime, I asked what everybody's favorite Greek letter was. Some said Ξ, others said Σ, or θ, but I will never be wavered from holding it to be true in my mind that λ is by far the best and cutest of the letters. Lambda is just objectively perfect.