Angry Rant Time

Monday, December 31, 2018

The other day I was on the phone with my mother, and I told her about having had seriously sprained my thumb (I don't think I broke it, though at the time I wasn't quite sure) the other day. It was a glorious story of how Patrick and I had both dove for the volleyball after it came over the net, both thinking nobody else could possibly get it and being entirely unaware of the other's intentions. As it was, we collided and my left hand slammed into the side of his head and we both collapsed in pain on the court. My whole hand was shook pretty bad and especially my thumb, while his head had received such a blunt force hit that a single small drop of blood beaded up on the side of his head. We were both down for the count, and went on to ice ourselves and nurse ourselves back to health. I will say though, he did get the upper hand in that one since my thumb still hasn't fully healed, even three days later. Fun times though, fun times. (It's been a great Christmas break so far, very exciting, hahae.)

Having just related that story to my mother, she asked if I had gone to the hospital to get it checked out. This is a shortened retelling (though not, obviously, word-for-word, but the spirit is definitely there) of what ensued:

"Did I go to the hospital!? Is that even a question!? Of course I didn't go to the hospital! Hospitals are stupid, they charge you hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars, just to tell you, "Oh yeah, go home and rest it and it'll heal." Ohhh wow, I'm glad you told me that doctor, I never would've guessed. You should ONLY go to a hospital if something is VISIBLY wrong, like you about to DIE if you don't get medical attention RIGHT NOW. An arm better be dangling, intestines should be slipping and falling out of your stomach, there should be an immense loss of blood before you go to the hospital. You better be giving birth or in clear danger of dying before you even THINK about it. Hospitals are so stupid. I'm not about to go pay hundred$ of dollars and sit around for a couple hours just to be told it'll heal by itself. I'd much rather sit at home with a broken thumb and let it do just that instead of going to the hospital first and only then going home. Hospitals don't have doctors, they have war healers. If you go, it should be painfully obvious why you went. A random guy off the street should be offering to walk you to the hospital because you are obviously in a lot of pain and will probably drop dead before you make it there  by yourself. There should be daylight pouring through the bullet hole in your chest, you should be coughing up your internal organs, limbs better be in danger of falling off, before you go to the hospital."

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate what hospitals do. Well equipped hospitals with trained staff are a wonderful product of this modern world we live in, it's just that they're not that great for small things like a potentially broken hand. Try a chiropractor guys.