Help (Not) Wanted

Have you ever met anyone who simply must do everything themselves? Opening the door for them is a challenge, offering to assist carrying something is well nigh impossible, and all the helpful things you'd like to do for them are met with resistance at every step. I've observed this frequently in many and sundry places and times, done by all sorts of different people. And, based solely upon my own experiences of being that help-turner-downer, I'd like to try and shed some light upon the situation.

So why do we do it? Why do we turn down help offered by others when they're only trying to be kind and considerate? Put simply, pride. I think to myself thoughts like: I don't need your help, I can do it by myself. I am strong, I don't mind the work or time I put into this, and I don't need you to get in the way. You'll probably just slow me down, or hardly get anything done anyways. And then what I'll say to them is, "Oh no, I'm fine, I got it." Sit down! Slam dunk! Go home! I got this. I'm a super helpful person who does all the stuff and you should just be thankful and stay out of the way while I get all the praise for doing all these wonderful things. Except I usually don't think that last part to myself, but I know it's there, deep in my consciousness, hungry, expectant, waiting for more praise and more glory, like a fire that burns and burns and never says 'enough'.

That's how I'm tempted to live, and that's how I've lived far too many times. If you're like me and you struggle with this problem, you're probably the type of person who goes out of their way to help people. You see a need and you step in to fill it. You're on the lookout for ways to be a blessing to others. That's fantastic, keep doing those things and don't stop. But imagine if every time you stepped in to help, someone ran up and demanded you leave, saying it was going to all work out in the end, and that you really shouldn't be there. That would be preposterous! But that is you. In the very act of trying to bless others you don't allow them to bless you. Smells like hypocrisy to me. More blessed is it to give than to receive, but that doesn't mean it's not blessed to receive. You shouldn't be in a constant fight to give away everything anybody gives to you as quick as you can, as if you're trying to be rid of the plague. Jesus knew this. He allowed Mary to break open the jar of ointment and then anoint him; He allowed her to wash his feet with her hair and tears. He knew how to receive blessing. And yet we think we are being holy by refusing the gifts of our friends. We think we're being kind by turning down help. We think we've got it all figured out. Interesting.