Things I Don't Understand

September 27th, 2017

Some things will just never make sense to. No matter how many times people explain it to me or how much I attempt to discover it for myself, it just never works. Here are a few questions that return to me every now and again.

1. Why do so many people push the glass of a door to open it instead of using the handle?
2. Why are there so many hair pins all over the place? If they fall out so easily, why use them?
3. Why does it take people a solid six seconds to begin accelerating when the light turns green?
4. Where do dust bunnies come from? I mean, seriously. I want a time-lapse video.
5. Why are people so redundant? For example, take the phrases 'added bonus', 'free gift', 'lying                  politician', etc. Each one is a nimiety and a pleonasm!
6. Who thought it was a good idea to sell boiled eggs pre-shelled by the half dozen? Who buys these?
7. Why don't people notice when you skip a number while listing things? Why do they doubt                   themselves and double-check just to make sure?
9. Why does any sentence sound like a question if you raise your voice to a higher pitch at the end?
10. Why do you think of the perfect comeback just a minute too late to use it?
11. Why when we see somebody about to throw something away do we gasp in horror and take it for       ourselves so it won't be wasted and then let it sit on a shelf for five years before throwing it away?
12. Why can't I ever get the dollars I spent AND the gallons I bought to land perfectly on whole               numbers at the gas station?
13. How do people lose their keys, wallets, and phones? How hard can it be to keep up with a couple       very valuable objects?
14. Who ever thought high heels were fashionable, or a good idea for anybody to wear? Aren't they           just glorified tripping hazards?
15. Why can't you drink alcohol until you're twenty-one but you can go get yourself killed fighting in       the army at eighteen?
16. What's up with those 'potato mashers' that only have a grid design with tiny little holes that                  nothing could possibly ever fit through?
17. Quare non decet mihi narrare fabulas de furis qui canes surripiunt atque edunt?
18. Where do all the scratches and gouges on my arms come from? Do I get attacked every night by         ravenous feral cat and wake up with no memory of it?
19. Why do we always forget the bestest thing we had planned to say and never remember it?