Slightly Incoherent

The early bird gets the worm. That's what they told me my whole life, and, for the most part, I believed them. Then again, I was always the one sitting around waiting for everybody else to show up. I was always that guy who'd merge way ahead of time and hoped that everybody else would get with the program and get in the right lane. This, though, was the turning point. Traffic patterns are concrete, something you see for yourself and observe what's better or worse. And it hit me: if everybody merged ahead of time (like you have to do in construction zones on the highway or something) and got in one lane before the cones started, traffic would be backed up way farther back then it had to be. Instead of turning a two-lane highway into a one-lane highway for a half mile, let's say, you're extending the distance of the one-lane portion even further. Won't that make it slower overall? Indubitably. That's why you should keep all traffic in two lanes for as long as possible before merging, so that way traffic runs smoother. Think of merging like a zipper: that's how it should go, suddenly all at once, not trying to get them all in line before their turn, throwing the whole thing off-balance.

Once I reached this conclusion, I looked around at the rest of my life to see where I could apply the same principle. Get there early? Nah, I'll get there on time, but not a minute before that. Oh, and then there's this priceless gem: knowing that my turn is coming up in a half mile but still merging into the other lane because there's a shorter lane at the light. Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Have to be somewhere in the morning? Set that alarm ten minutes before to optimize your sleep intake, and let the day worry about itself. I think that saying needs to be updated: The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.