Old Chicken Sludge

Saturday, September 2nd, 2017

Today was the day. A bunch of people were coming over to our apartment tonight to watch a movie, and so a few hours prior, had you been a fly on the wall, you would have seen Luke and I busily cleaning everything to make it perfect. We even got carried away and began going through our refrigerator clearing out all the food that had gone bad and rearranging everything so we could actually find stuff. And then, we found it. It was in a plastic container, filling it to the brim, and giving us a sight that almost caused my upper lip to curl up in disgust. Almost. It wasn't quite that bad, but it was getting up there in the ranks. Maybe four or five more weeks would upgrade it to boss level, but it wasn't quite there yet. It was brown, it was sludgy, goopy and foul, and no-one in their right mind would have let it sit out on the counter, because by doing so it would warm up and the stench that was buried under the cold of the refrigerator would come boiling out and ruin any thoughts of a decent night's sleep for some time to come. This repulsive chicken goop was to be dealt with immediately. Luke grabbed an old plastic container we didn't care about anymore, and we poured the nastiness in there so we could just throw the whole thing away en masse. Well... we didn't quite get to it right away, and this gave me time to let my mind wander, as it often does. But by and by Luke took up the gauntlet and picked up the rickety plastic container full of ick to throw it away. And then, as it passed by me in all its nasty foulness, I suddenly realized the odd majestic, almost regal, nature of it, I took note of some of its more pleasing qualities, and, all at once, I had an epiphany. A broad smile stretched across my face as my voice issued forth, "Wait, Luke, don't throw that away!" "What, why? What are you going to use it for" My smile broadened: "This is too great a thing to waste, I've got a great idea for it!" With a whisk of a movement I took the goop and placed it back securely in the fridge. Heh heh.

And then, a few hours later, everyone arrived. The festivities began as Luke and I set up the projector so we could start the movie, but... we had forgotten we didn't have the right port on any of our computers. Poor Charli had to drive back to her house and get hers, which had the right thingy, and then we started the movie. Time, as it does, rolled on, and soon enough the movie was finished and we were all happily talking away, when all at once somebody mentioned something that caused Luke and I to simultaneously remember that we had icecream in our freezer. Our heads snapped and we locked eyes, and two smiles broadened out into a huge grin. Christy and Charli noticed, and with apprehension asked what it was we were thinking of. Without a word we got up and ran toward the kitchen, and as we did so an audible "uh oh..." reached our ears. Let's just say that Luke and I are sometimes known for wild and/or crazy stunts, and we had given signs that could easily be interpreted as something being afoot. Oh but what joy and what surprise when we came back to the living room with a gallon of chocolate icecream and bowls, spoons, and mugs to match. Luke started dishing it out, whilst I slunk off back to the kitchen for my little plan. I grabbed a bowl, poured some chicken glop in there, stuck a spoon in, and went back to the coffee table where the ice cream was being dished up. First I tried to pass my bowl to Christy, but she perceived what it was and didn't fall for it (surprisingly she didn't let out any loud indication of her dismay, so that gave me a second chance. I signaled to her to keep quiet as I tried again.). Not long after, the perfect occasion arrived. Kat asked Luke for some icecream, but I chimed in before he could say anything and said, "Here's a bowl for you Kat!" She took it from me with an, "Oh thank you so much Leaf!" and then proceeded to lift the spoon. It was a couple inches from her mouth when she realized that she'd been tricked, and oh what a time of it then! With cries of dismay directed toward my general vicinity, possibly me, I realized that my plan had gone off perfectly. My laughter filled the area while everyone wondered what it was I was laughing about, and what it was that I had done to Kat, for they could obviously see that it was a righteous anger with which she burned, and that if she wasn't such a nice person I would be in some deep trouble. One line I remember through my fits of laughter was, "You do not give a girl chicken goop when she's expecting icecream! That's so cruel!" Since she is so kindhearted, I didn't end up with a bowl of chicken goop in my face, though that would have been entirely justified and I wouldn't blame her had she done it, but rather received a rhetorical challenge: namely, to restore myself again to her good graces. This I attempted, but every effort was shot down with accurate precision. At long last though we reached the end of our joke and again returned to the playful back and forth of friendly conversation with the others in the living room. Thus ended a fine and good joke, and later that night the rest of the goop was duly dispatched into the garbage dump of despair, never again to see the light of day.