October 25th, 2017
Have you ever gone back and read anything you've written a long time ago? I cringe every time. Even reading papers I submitted for classes last year makes my mind curl up in a ball and wonder what I could've possibly been thinking when writing that. It seems that a year, or even just a couple months, is enough to allow you to see the folly of your writing and see clearer how it could've been better. Woulda coulda shoulda, right? Well, yes. Try going back and reading some of your own writing some time. It can be rather revealing. And if you think about it enough, you may realize that some things you said or claims you made really should have been tempered better. That's a good realization to come to. Let it inform you about what you say now.
Think to yourself, "I feel really strongly about this issue and I know I'm a hundred percent right on this, so I need to enlighten the world, or at least those around me to the truth. Oh, but wait... I remember a couple months ago about that other thing I was equally sure of, and now when I look at it it looks kinda dumb. Maybe I should think about this more before I make such a strong claim, or perhaps tone it down a little."
I think far too often we are too sure about how right we are. Think about it. There are millions of people in this world, and thousands and thousands of different takes on various subjects. Many of these thoughts are contradictory, so it's very likely that many if not most are 'wrong', or at least 'less right' or 'not optimal'. If that's the case, think about all the beliefs and thoughts you have. Chances are not all of them are perfect, and there's still plenty of room for improvement. Improvement is difficult though, because you believe you're right. Otherwise you wouldn't believe what you do, right? Therefore we should take everything with a grain of salt. Even those things we currently believe vehemently at the moment. Chances are, in a year or two, or maybe just a few months, we may be better able to judge how well our thoughts align with the truth, and we can make the appropriate adjustments. Some, at this point, may begin to doubt my claim that we should take everything with a grain of salt. Aren't there a few core beliefs we KNOW are true? Yes. That's why I say we should take everything with a grain of salt, even the saying 'take everything with a grain of salt'. It's up to you to know which are truly true, and those things you merely suppose to be true because it seems like that's the case. This is where wisdom comes in. Now again, at this point the vigilant reader may wonder what in the world my argument is about, since I've essentially made no claims that I haven't refuted right after myself. 'Take everything with a grain of salt even the saying, 'take everything with a grain of salt'.' technically refutes itself and doesn't help us get anywhere. And you'd be right, technically. But I think you know what I'm trying to communicate by this, and I hope you'll learn to hold as true those things that are true, and learn to not hold those lesser truths you have on the same level with the Great Truths.
Now perhaps I'll read this months from now and think, "Wow I'm kinda stupid." But if we let that stop us from writing anything at all, there wouldn't be anything to read, now would there? Just don't elevate your everyday thoughts to the level of the Gospel while doing so, eh? Peace out.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
A Hike?
Sunday, October 22, 2017
Today was Sarah's birthday, and so at long last she thought it'd be a grand idea to go to the ill-named Moscow mountain (*cough* don't make mountains out of molehills *cough* ahem lol). So I drove over to her house at the appointed time to join the expedition. Caleb wasn't coming since for some reason no phone-calls would reach him, but Sarah, Brooke, Anna, her sister Katie (who just got into town) and Ransom and Jessica and all their kids were coming. And Jex too. Can't leave your dog behind! Ransom, Jessica and co. took off in the suburban and the rest of us piled into my truck, but first they all wanted to stop by Starbucks on the way, since you get a free drink if it's your birthday. Doing so, the other vehicle went on its merry way with plans to be joined by us after a short delay. Once in the drive-thru for S-bucks, I had the chance to fix a problem: that mainly being the fact that the seats were full of people and there was an extra dog in the mix causing confusion, mayhem, and stepping all over everybody and getting white fur everywhere. I opened my door and scooped her up and put her in the bed of the truck where she could ride without getting in the way. I think this is the first time she's ridden back there all alone, and I was hoping she wouldn't jump out while we were in the drive-thru or fall out on the drive up there. She was a good girl though and didn't jump out at all, assuming that I'd placed her there for a reason and that I wanted her to stay until I told her it was ok to get out. After we got all the coffees, we drove out of town and hit the gravel roads heading toward the designated meeting area. Funnily enough, they weren't there upon our arrival. After a few attempts to contact them, we finally did so and found that they, having never been here before, had taken a different route and were on the other side of the mountain. So as it was our party was bifurcated and we resolved to have fun severally by ourselves. So we took off down this track, now that, raced in to the woods to avoid being seen by the truck that was coming (not that we were doing anything wrong, but more because it's fun to hide from people and not ever let them see you.) and just generally goofing off having fun. We ran into the metal gate that bars the track up to the top and Brooke decided it'd be a great idea to plank on it. So we did. Eventually though we went back to the truck to leave. This time Anna, Katie and Jex rode in the back, leaving the three of us to the cab. On the fun drive back down, I flipped the radio on and sang along as boisterously as possible, and then we thought of other songs that the three of us knew and sang those as loud as we could too. It was grand fun.
Today was Sarah's birthday, and so at long last she thought it'd be a grand idea to go to the ill-named Moscow mountain (*cough* don't make mountains out of molehills *cough* ahem lol). So I drove over to her house at the appointed time to join the expedition. Caleb wasn't coming since for some reason no phone-calls would reach him, but Sarah, Brooke, Anna, her sister Katie (who just got into town) and Ransom and Jessica and all their kids were coming. And Jex too. Can't leave your dog behind! Ransom, Jessica and co. took off in the suburban and the rest of us piled into my truck, but first they all wanted to stop by Starbucks on the way, since you get a free drink if it's your birthday. Doing so, the other vehicle went on its merry way with plans to be joined by us after a short delay. Once in the drive-thru for S-bucks, I had the chance to fix a problem: that mainly being the fact that the seats were full of people and there was an extra dog in the mix causing confusion, mayhem, and stepping all over everybody and getting white fur everywhere. I opened my door and scooped her up and put her in the bed of the truck where she could ride without getting in the way. I think this is the first time she's ridden back there all alone, and I was hoping she wouldn't jump out while we were in the drive-thru or fall out on the drive up there. She was a good girl though and didn't jump out at all, assuming that I'd placed her there for a reason and that I wanted her to stay until I told her it was ok to get out. After we got all the coffees, we drove out of town and hit the gravel roads heading toward the designated meeting area. Funnily enough, they weren't there upon our arrival. After a few attempts to contact them, we finally did so and found that they, having never been here before, had taken a different route and were on the other side of the mountain. So as it was our party was bifurcated and we resolved to have fun severally by ourselves. So we took off down this track, now that, raced in to the woods to avoid being seen by the truck that was coming (not that we were doing anything wrong, but more because it's fun to hide from people and not ever let them see you.) and just generally goofing off having fun. We ran into the metal gate that bars the track up to the top and Brooke decided it'd be a great idea to plank on it. So we did. Eventually though we went back to the truck to leave. This time Anna, Katie and Jex rode in the back, leaving the three of us to the cab. On the fun drive back down, I flipped the radio on and sang along as boisterously as possible, and then we thought of other songs that the three of us knew and sang those as loud as we could too. It was grand fun.
Friday, October 20, 2017
The Noodle Restaurant
First delivered orally around 2013, written down about a week after that.
There was once a very famous restaurant in Italy, in fact, it was the most famous and renowned restaurant in the country. Many people from around the world would come to Italy just to visit this restaurant. Why is it so famous you ask? There are many reasons, but probably the chief reason is that every single dish, every dessert, every specialty drink, everything, contained noodles. Now these aren't just any noodles, no, they are handcrafted and come in dozens of different types. There are short, sharp spiraled green noodles, long thin hollow noodles, and every other imaginable type. There were even different flavors of noodles. One day a rich prince from India came to this restaurant. He despised noodles and that famous restaurant, and wanted to destroy its reputation. He had a plan. After the main course had been eaten along with the sides, and the meal was almost over, the waiter came and asked if he would like some dessert.
"I would indeed, but make sure there are no noodles in it."
"But sir, everything we cook has noodles in it."
To this the prince replied, "Tell the head chef I do not want any noodles."
So the waiter hustled off to tell the chef.
"We cannot possibly do such a thing!" the chef exclaimed. "It would ruin our reputation! Tell zis man we cannot make such a dish."
So the waiter returned to the prince's table. "The chef says he cannot do such a thing."
"Tell him that I am a royal prince of India and demand he makes me a dessert with no noodles!"
So again the waiter returned to the chef. "He says he is a royal prince of India and demands we make such a dish. I think we should comply with his wishes."
"No! I cannot do that!" the chef fumed.
Then the chef thought for a moment and a bright smile crept across his face.
"Tell him we will make him his dessert."
So once again the waiter went to the prince. "The chef has finally agreed to make you your dessert."
"Good!" the prince said. Then he thought to himself, "Ha ha! Soon this restaurant will be the most despised in the land!"
Meanwhile, the chef was busy making the dessert. He had a plan to trick the prince and save the restaurant. In a few minutes the waiter returned for the last time to the prince's table. The prince didn't see a single noodle on the plate. He took the plate in one hand and then stood up.
"Attention! Attention please! I have some very important news for all of you." the prince called to the whole restaurant. Soon everybody was quiet. The chef peeked out from the kitchen to watch, silently chuckling to himself.
"Tonight, the chef has made me a wonderful dessert with no noodles in it. That's right, look and see for yourself!"
The people looked and saw not a single noodle. They started throwing down their forks in disgust. How could their favorite restaurant betray them so? Dozens of people started getting up to leave.
The prince continued slandering the restaurant, "Yes, that's right folks, a noodle-free dish!"
As he said this he stabbed his fork into his dessert for a bite. When he brought it to his mouth, the whole restaurant instantly fell into complete silence. Then one person began laughing, then another, and another, until everyone was all uproariously laughing. The prince didn't know what it was all about, until he looked at his fork. There was a huge fist-sized noodle on it. The chef had hidden it under all the special sauces and delicious crumbles. The prince bowed his head in shame. He had never been more humiliated in his life. The prince was laughed out of the restaurant and returned sullenly to his country. As for the renowned noodle restaurant, its fame spread farther than ever, and hundreds flocked from all over to enjoy the most wonderful noodle dishes in the world.
There was once a very famous restaurant in Italy, in fact, it was the most famous and renowned restaurant in the country. Many people from around the world would come to Italy just to visit this restaurant. Why is it so famous you ask? There are many reasons, but probably the chief reason is that every single dish, every dessert, every specialty drink, everything, contained noodles. Now these aren't just any noodles, no, they are handcrafted and come in dozens of different types. There are short, sharp spiraled green noodles, long thin hollow noodles, and every other imaginable type. There were even different flavors of noodles. One day a rich prince from India came to this restaurant. He despised noodles and that famous restaurant, and wanted to destroy its reputation. He had a plan. After the main course had been eaten along with the sides, and the meal was almost over, the waiter came and asked if he would like some dessert.
"I would indeed, but make sure there are no noodles in it."
"But sir, everything we cook has noodles in it."
To this the prince replied, "Tell the head chef I do not want any noodles."
So the waiter hustled off to tell the chef.
"We cannot possibly do such a thing!" the chef exclaimed. "It would ruin our reputation! Tell zis man we cannot make such a dish."
So the waiter returned to the prince's table. "The chef says he cannot do such a thing."
"Tell him that I am a royal prince of India and demand he makes me a dessert with no noodles!"
So again the waiter returned to the chef. "He says he is a royal prince of India and demands we make such a dish. I think we should comply with his wishes."
"No! I cannot do that!" the chef fumed.
Then the chef thought for a moment and a bright smile crept across his face.
"Tell him we will make him his dessert."
So once again the waiter went to the prince. "The chef has finally agreed to make you your dessert."
"Good!" the prince said. Then he thought to himself, "Ha ha! Soon this restaurant will be the most despised in the land!"
Meanwhile, the chef was busy making the dessert. He had a plan to trick the prince and save the restaurant. In a few minutes the waiter returned for the last time to the prince's table. The prince didn't see a single noodle on the plate. He took the plate in one hand and then stood up.
"Attention! Attention please! I have some very important news for all of you." the prince called to the whole restaurant. Soon everybody was quiet. The chef peeked out from the kitchen to watch, silently chuckling to himself.
"Tonight, the chef has made me a wonderful dessert with no noodles in it. That's right, look and see for yourself!"
The people looked and saw not a single noodle. They started throwing down their forks in disgust. How could their favorite restaurant betray them so? Dozens of people started getting up to leave.
The prince continued slandering the restaurant, "Yes, that's right folks, a noodle-free dish!"
As he said this he stabbed his fork into his dessert for a bite. When he brought it to his mouth, the whole restaurant instantly fell into complete silence. Then one person began laughing, then another, and another, until everyone was all uproariously laughing. The prince didn't know what it was all about, until he looked at his fork. There was a huge fist-sized noodle on it. The chef had hidden it under all the special sauces and delicious crumbles. The prince bowed his head in shame. He had never been more humiliated in his life. The prince was laughed out of the restaurant and returned sullenly to his country. As for the renowned noodle restaurant, its fame spread farther than ever, and hundreds flocked from all over to enjoy the most wonderful noodle dishes in the world.
Wednesday, October 18, 2017
Running Llama Wool
Tuesday, October 17th, 2017
We decided to go for a run. Fun? You bet. As it was Luke ran upstairs to grab something, and I, since I was already ready, *heh heh*, decided to get some alpaca wool ready. Let me explain, briefly: getting wool is symbolic of preparing to dupe somebody, play a trick on them, or surprise them. That's where we get 'pull the wool over their eyes' from. And why alpaca wool? Because alpaca wool is very high quality stuff, and is more expensive because of how good it is. In other words, by saying I was getting some alpaca wool ready, I meant that I was going to pull a stunt on Luke. Well actually it wasn't that amazing of a stunt, so maybe it was only llama wool. At any rate, I was ready. Our staircase descends, like most do, down, eventually, at the bottom, meeting with, you guessed it, the ground floor. Seven and a half steps, half the length of the staircase, are at the bottom lined with a metal railing designed to prevent one from falling into the living room. When one descends the stairs, you can look down into the living room, and likewise, can in turn be seen from the living room. Now, no one would expect anybody to try and jump out and surprise them while they're descending the stairs, because there's not really a spot to jump out from because of the emptiness of the space there. Such endeavors are generally left to hiding behind doors, around corners, under tables, and the like; which is precisely why I chose this spot: nobody ever has their guard up whilst descending the stairs. I laid right along the side of the staircase beneath the railing, where only if you were paying attention would you notice me. I lay and waited. And then down traipsed Luke, and I jumped out and grabbed his legs. A holler of surprise was let out and my undertaking was successful! Froh, sitting on the couch, laughed too; he saw it all.
After that we started our run and took off wherever the wind drove us. We ended up at a park with bars to swing on and grass to roll in, which, of course, we did. We swung around and had fun, doing various tricks on the metal bars, and then we went rolling in the grass. Not rolling as in going down a hill, but practicing our 'safety rolls', the ones you use when jumping from a height, diving over tall objects, or saving yourself from other fun stuff gone wrong. They're quite useful! So we practiced for a while, and then, on our way back, determined to come back every Tuesday afternoon to get some good exercise and practice. As they say, practice makes perfect!
We decided to go for a run. Fun? You bet. As it was Luke ran upstairs to grab something, and I, since I was already ready, *heh heh*, decided to get some alpaca wool ready. Let me explain, briefly: getting wool is symbolic of preparing to dupe somebody, play a trick on them, or surprise them. That's where we get 'pull the wool over their eyes' from. And why alpaca wool? Because alpaca wool is very high quality stuff, and is more expensive because of how good it is. In other words, by saying I was getting some alpaca wool ready, I meant that I was going to pull a stunt on Luke. Well actually it wasn't that amazing of a stunt, so maybe it was only llama wool. At any rate, I was ready. Our staircase descends, like most do, down, eventually, at the bottom, meeting with, you guessed it, the ground floor. Seven and a half steps, half the length of the staircase, are at the bottom lined with a metal railing designed to prevent one from falling into the living room. When one descends the stairs, you can look down into the living room, and likewise, can in turn be seen from the living room. Now, no one would expect anybody to try and jump out and surprise them while they're descending the stairs, because there's not really a spot to jump out from because of the emptiness of the space there. Such endeavors are generally left to hiding behind doors, around corners, under tables, and the like; which is precisely why I chose this spot: nobody ever has their guard up whilst descending the stairs. I laid right along the side of the staircase beneath the railing, where only if you were paying attention would you notice me. I lay and waited. And then down traipsed Luke, and I jumped out and grabbed his legs. A holler of surprise was let out and my undertaking was successful! Froh, sitting on the couch, laughed too; he saw it all.
After that we started our run and took off wherever the wind drove us. We ended up at a park with bars to swing on and grass to roll in, which, of course, we did. We swung around and had fun, doing various tricks on the metal bars, and then we went rolling in the grass. Not rolling as in going down a hill, but practicing our 'safety rolls', the ones you use when jumping from a height, diving over tall objects, or saving yourself from other fun stuff gone wrong. They're quite useful! So we practiced for a while, and then, on our way back, determined to come back every Tuesday afternoon to get some good exercise and practice. As they say, practice makes perfect!
The Hobby of Bobby
Tuesday, October 17th, 2017
It was bound to happen at some point. I should've seen it coming. I'd never seen it before, but I remember last year everyone was going crazy over it so I figured it was probably fairly decent. With Bobby insistently dangling the line, he finally induced me to bite. Better late than never, right? It was so good, disappointed I am not. It's quite the gripping story and it seems like it'll get even better; they really know how to use those cliff hangers too. A couple nights ago we watched the first two episodes of Stranger Things. I am convinced it's one of Bobby's favorite things to get people hooked on television shows. As far as faults go, that's not that bad I guess. Perhaps after I see a few more episodes I'll be better able to determine how bad a fault it is. And so it was that I again found myself over there, this time with Benjamin and John too, and we watched two more episodes. Oh, and we had oolong tea too, it's one of my favorites. Since season two comes out this halloween, Bobby wants me to finish off the whole first season so we can all watch the second together and throw a big party. I'm not sure how many there are, but we'll see how that goes. At any rate, I'm glad Bobby got me onto this, it's a story well told!
It was bound to happen at some point. I should've seen it coming. I'd never seen it before, but I remember last year everyone was going crazy over it so I figured it was probably fairly decent. With Bobby insistently dangling the line, he finally induced me to bite. Better late than never, right? It was so good, disappointed I am not. It's quite the gripping story and it seems like it'll get even better; they really know how to use those cliff hangers too. A couple nights ago we watched the first two episodes of Stranger Things. I am convinced it's one of Bobby's favorite things to get people hooked on television shows. As far as faults go, that's not that bad I guess. Perhaps after I see a few more episodes I'll be better able to determine how bad a fault it is. And so it was that I again found myself over there, this time with Benjamin and John too, and we watched two more episodes. Oh, and we had oolong tea too, it's one of my favorites. Since season two comes out this halloween, Bobby wants me to finish off the whole first season so we can all watch the second together and throw a big party. I'm not sure how many there are, but we'll see how that goes. At any rate, I'm glad Bobby got me onto this, it's a story well told!
Monday, October 16, 2017
A Land With Milk and Snakes
Monday, October 16th, 2017
With my girl riding shotgun we tore up the streets of Moscow with the radio playing and the windows down. The cool fall air playfully nipped at our faces as we slowed to a halt at the red light. The old guy driving a cab next to me at the light also had his window down, and he nodded his approval. I nodded back. Then his dog climbed up on his lap and stuck his head out the window trying to greet Jex. Jex, however, would have none of it, and stared straight ahead and never gave him one glance. Rejection! Burn! Then the light changed colors and we sped away. When we got there, I ran into TRC to get my spoons and water bottle that I'd left the day before at dancing.
Quick backstory and then we'll get back to where we were: Sometimes I get oddly attached to everyday items, like rocks, seeds, a beaten up jack of diamonds, or whatever small piece of something I find laying around totally disregarded. I'll say, "This is MY orange juice cap, and I will cherish it forever and bring it with me wherever I go." Well, I had this plastic disposable half liter water bottle that was near and dear to my heart and I used all the time. Yes, I had it. Not anymore though. See, I brought it along to a movie night over break week, at which time I unwittingly left it behind. Upon arriving home I noticed that it was missing and immediately texted Charli so as to insure the safety of my water bottle, as unknowing soles would think nothing of it and throw it away. She said she'd give it to me the next time we saw each other. Well, that was Sunday. And she didn't have the bottle. She had forgotten to tell her roommates, and evidently one of them had disposed of it. She was sad because she'd said she'd keep it safe, and it was lost on her watch. Consequently she brought along a new glass bottle to replace it with, and that was now what I was coming to get. Though I miss my worthless plastic bottle, I am satisfied with it's replacement and look forward to cherishing it forever until some calamity befalls me again and I shatter it to a thousand pieces. Such heartbreaks occur often when you attach yourself to everyday objects, but hey, I always know they're right around the corner so it's not that bad.
Anyways, I grabbed up my items and went back to the car. Then I let Jex out and we went for a little walk, but near the end I almost stumbled upon a little snake basking in the warm sun on the black asphalt. I immediately started to catch him, but, being unsuccessful, had to release Jex's leash from my grasp since she was tugging my arm in the wrong direction and interfering with the operation. Then I grabbed'im up and looked at him. So cool! I couldn't just let him go, so I came up with a reason to keep him and put him in a jam jar I keep handy for such occasions. That done, Jex and I hied home, whereupon I tied her back up in the yard and grabbed a little straw to put in the jar before driving back to my place. I read for a little while longer, then packed my bag, being sure not to forget my little snake. By and by, after some time had passed, it was almost four o'clock so I went to the classroom to sit down. John and Charli were already there, and John, in surprise, asked if I was really in the Anselm and Tolkien class.
"No," I replied drily, "I'm just walked all the way here for no apparent reason."
"Wait... really?" He was confused, wondering if I was being sarcastic or not.
"Yes, really. I came all the way here just to see you guys."
Charli had been laughily smirking, and here she let out a brief laugh and a smile.
"Sometimes," I continued, drily and with as much seriousness as I could muster, "I get lonely."
Another somewhat stifled laugh escaped, and I couldn't keep from smiling.
Quizzically, but strongly suspecting he knows the answer, John said, "So are you really in this class?"
"Yes, yes I am."
A little while later Christy walked in and the most glorious thing happened. She sat down across the aisle from me and pulled out a half gallon of pure milk from her bag, which she handed to me saying how they'd given her extra at the farm and so she was giving it to me. My face lit up and happiness surged out from the depth of my being. I love good milk, and here was half a gallon, given freely and unexpectedly! That made my day.
"Oh, I have something for you too!"
"What, really? What is it?"
And then I pulled out my jam jar and handed it to her.
"A snake! Did you catch it? Do you know what type it is?"
"I caught it earlier today while walking Jex, but I don't know exactly what type it is."
"Oh, Dr. Wilson is in, we should bring it to him and ask him. You should do it since you caught him."
And so it was we showed Dr. Wilson it, and he was pleased to see we'd found a Wandering Garder snake. (I always thought it was 'Gardener snake' when I was little and was quite distraught when I found that wasn't the case.) Wilson patted the bottle to get him out, and that's where Charli got his name Ketchup from, because he was patted out like you would the remainder of a ketchup bottle. Then he was passed around from person to person, except Brooke and Sarah weren't too keen on holding or touching him, so mostly Charli held him since I'd already had my fill earlier that day. But then class came and we put him away and sat in our seats. And that's how I traded a little snake for some milk and had an awesome day. Of course, more happened today than just that, but were I to write the thousand details that made up this day, I'd be here forever and tomorrow would never come. Suffice it to say that it was a nice day.
With my girl riding shotgun we tore up the streets of Moscow with the radio playing and the windows down. The cool fall air playfully nipped at our faces as we slowed to a halt at the red light. The old guy driving a cab next to me at the light also had his window down, and he nodded his approval. I nodded back. Then his dog climbed up on his lap and stuck his head out the window trying to greet Jex. Jex, however, would have none of it, and stared straight ahead and never gave him one glance. Rejection! Burn! Then the light changed colors and we sped away. When we got there, I ran into TRC to get my spoons and water bottle that I'd left the day before at dancing.
Quick backstory and then we'll get back to where we were: Sometimes I get oddly attached to everyday items, like rocks, seeds, a beaten up jack of diamonds, or whatever small piece of something I find laying around totally disregarded. I'll say, "This is MY orange juice cap, and I will cherish it forever and bring it with me wherever I go." Well, I had this plastic disposable half liter water bottle that was near and dear to my heart and I used all the time. Yes, I had it. Not anymore though. See, I brought it along to a movie night over break week, at which time I unwittingly left it behind. Upon arriving home I noticed that it was missing and immediately texted Charli so as to insure the safety of my water bottle, as unknowing soles would think nothing of it and throw it away. She said she'd give it to me the next time we saw each other. Well, that was Sunday. And she didn't have the bottle. She had forgotten to tell her roommates, and evidently one of them had disposed of it. She was sad because she'd said she'd keep it safe, and it was lost on her watch. Consequently she brought along a new glass bottle to replace it with, and that was now what I was coming to get. Though I miss my worthless plastic bottle, I am satisfied with it's replacement and look forward to cherishing it forever until some calamity befalls me again and I shatter it to a thousand pieces. Such heartbreaks occur often when you attach yourself to everyday objects, but hey, I always know they're right around the corner so it's not that bad.
Anyways, I grabbed up my items and went back to the car. Then I let Jex out and we went for a little walk, but near the end I almost stumbled upon a little snake basking in the warm sun on the black asphalt. I immediately started to catch him, but, being unsuccessful, had to release Jex's leash from my grasp since she was tugging my arm in the wrong direction and interfering with the operation. Then I grabbed'im up and looked at him. So cool! I couldn't just let him go, so I came up with a reason to keep him and put him in a jam jar I keep handy for such occasions. That done, Jex and I hied home, whereupon I tied her back up in the yard and grabbed a little straw to put in the jar before driving back to my place. I read for a little while longer, then packed my bag, being sure not to forget my little snake. By and by, after some time had passed, it was almost four o'clock so I went to the classroom to sit down. John and Charli were already there, and John, in surprise, asked if I was really in the Anselm and Tolkien class.
"No," I replied drily, "I'm just walked all the way here for no apparent reason."
"Wait... really?" He was confused, wondering if I was being sarcastic or not.
"Yes, really. I came all the way here just to see you guys."
Charli had been laughily smirking, and here she let out a brief laugh and a smile.
"Sometimes," I continued, drily and with as much seriousness as I could muster, "I get lonely."
Another somewhat stifled laugh escaped, and I couldn't keep from smiling.
Quizzically, but strongly suspecting he knows the answer, John said, "So are you really in this class?"
"Yes, yes I am."
A little while later Christy walked in and the most glorious thing happened. She sat down across the aisle from me and pulled out a half gallon of pure milk from her bag, which she handed to me saying how they'd given her extra at the farm and so she was giving it to me. My face lit up and happiness surged out from the depth of my being. I love good milk, and here was half a gallon, given freely and unexpectedly! That made my day.
"Oh, I have something for you too!"
"What, really? What is it?"
And then I pulled out my jam jar and handed it to her.
"A snake! Did you catch it? Do you know what type it is?"
"I caught it earlier today while walking Jex, but I don't know exactly what type it is."
"Oh, Dr. Wilson is in, we should bring it to him and ask him. You should do it since you caught him."
And so it was we showed Dr. Wilson it, and he was pleased to see we'd found a Wandering Garder snake. (I always thought it was 'Gardener snake' when I was little and was quite distraught when I found that wasn't the case.) Wilson patted the bottle to get him out, and that's where Charli got his name Ketchup from, because he was patted out like you would the remainder of a ketchup bottle. Then he was passed around from person to person, except Brooke and Sarah weren't too keen on holding or touching him, so mostly Charli held him since I'd already had my fill earlier that day. But then class came and we put him away and sat in our seats. And that's how I traded a little snake for some milk and had an awesome day. Of course, more happened today than just that, but were I to write the thousand details that made up this day, I'd be here forever and tomorrow would never come. Suffice it to say that it was a nice day.
Sunday, October 15, 2017
Working and Playing
October 15th, 2017
It's Sunday again! Not only that, but everybody is getting back to town, and school starts back up tomorrow. I'm super excited about this because I'm ready to get back to work and be busy again. This term I'm doing five classes instead of the standard four, so I'll be extra bust too! For some reason I often work better when there's more stuff to do, and I think more work will do me good and, surprisingly, give me more free time. "Why is that?" you ask. Because it'll force me to be more dedicated. With extra deadlines to meet and three papers to write this term, I'm going to have a lot on my plate. This will force me to use my time better, and consequently I won't waste so much of it scrolling through facebook or watching thought provoking videos on youtube. Although I do enjoy those things I always come away feeling empty: I've neither gotten any work done or any play done. Both are in important, and generally it's best to be doing one or the other at any given time, not sitting around doing neither.
To work properly you need to be accomplishing goals you've set out for yourself, whether that be running three miles, working another eight hours at your job, writing a blogpost, doing school assignments, or whatever it may be. To play properly you need to be around people. Real people. Connecting over the internet is great, but it doesn't afford the same goodness that comes with a real live friendship. Just move to a new town and all your friends are in a different state or country? By all means keep those friendships alive, but don't neglect those around you. Reach out, make new friends, spend time with them. Go do something, anything, with friends or other people you want to befriend, and have fun while doing it. That's how you play.
Solid playfulness produces the best kinds of relationships, something online interaction can never hope to achieve. The way I see it, the internet is a fantastic way to keep in touch with those you love back home and around the globe. But that's it. It can't provide much more than that except with the utmost of determinance. By spending too much time on your phone or the computer you're neglecting those God has put into your everyday life. You have a duty to love them. That's 'love' the action. It's work, and it may be difficult if you just came to a new town and you don't know anybody. But you'll come to enjoy it. Accept as many invitations to go do stuff as you can, whether it's helping move a piano across town, watching some rowdy kids for an evening, or going out to watch a movie. Get involved with the people you live around. Be there for them. That's a two-way street. They're going to be the ones there for you when life gets rough. I mean, let's be realistic. No matter how much my mom, my dad, or my best friend love me, that's not going to do me a lick of good when they're halfway cross the country and I have an urgent, real problem that I need help with NOW. If I'm ever in a situation like that, I'm not going to call them. I'm going to call the friends I have who live a couple minutes away. That's how it works, and that's how it should be. You need those around you, and they need you.
Also, I think there is a place for 'official' evangelism, you know, going door to door, or speaking out in public places proclaiming the gospel and the good news, but in my experience, I've found that actions speak louder than words. Sure, words are great, but what the world really wants to see is how you live it out. Most people I've met who have doubts about Christianity have them because they see the blatant hypocrisy of many 'Christians', and can't imagine there's any good reason they'd want to be a part of 'that'. So show them true Christianity. Show them how you live. Work hard, play hard, do it all to the glory of God, and don't compromise when evil comes knocking. Stay true to the Word, but don't whack them upside the head with your leather-bound, four-inch-thick, red-lettered KJV. What did Daniel do when commanded to not do what was right? He quietly did it anyway, despite what others might do. Following that example, we should do what's right but not make a big deal about it. I've worked lots of places where people cuss like sailors and have conversations that probably shouldn't be repeated. In places like those, hold your peace and don't capitulate and start using curse language too to 'fit in'. Your silence is deafening. They notice your lack of curse words, believe me. And when they ask for your opinion on whatever they're talking about, straight up tell them what you think without, pardon the expression, damning them to hell. And you know what? For the most part, they reject it, but they respect it. People appreciate honesty and straight-shooters, who live what they say they believe. And at the end of the day, isn't how you live the ultimate teller of what you really do believe? And whatever corner of the world you find yourself in, live the gospel, don't just speak it. Interact with those around you. Work hard. Play hard. Be the light of Christ to all you meet.
It's Sunday again! Not only that, but everybody is getting back to town, and school starts back up tomorrow. I'm super excited about this because I'm ready to get back to work and be busy again. This term I'm doing five classes instead of the standard four, so I'll be extra bust too! For some reason I often work better when there's more stuff to do, and I think more work will do me good and, surprisingly, give me more free time. "Why is that?" you ask. Because it'll force me to be more dedicated. With extra deadlines to meet and three papers to write this term, I'm going to have a lot on my plate. This will force me to use my time better, and consequently I won't waste so much of it scrolling through facebook or watching thought provoking videos on youtube. Although I do enjoy those things I always come away feeling empty: I've neither gotten any work done or any play done. Both are in important, and generally it's best to be doing one or the other at any given time, not sitting around doing neither.
To work properly you need to be accomplishing goals you've set out for yourself, whether that be running three miles, working another eight hours at your job, writing a blogpost, doing school assignments, or whatever it may be. To play properly you need to be around people. Real people. Connecting over the internet is great, but it doesn't afford the same goodness that comes with a real live friendship. Just move to a new town and all your friends are in a different state or country? By all means keep those friendships alive, but don't neglect those around you. Reach out, make new friends, spend time with them. Go do something, anything, with friends or other people you want to befriend, and have fun while doing it. That's how you play.
Solid playfulness produces the best kinds of relationships, something online interaction can never hope to achieve. The way I see it, the internet is a fantastic way to keep in touch with those you love back home and around the globe. But that's it. It can't provide much more than that except with the utmost of determinance. By spending too much time on your phone or the computer you're neglecting those God has put into your everyday life. You have a duty to love them. That's 'love' the action. It's work, and it may be difficult if you just came to a new town and you don't know anybody. But you'll come to enjoy it. Accept as many invitations to go do stuff as you can, whether it's helping move a piano across town, watching some rowdy kids for an evening, or going out to watch a movie. Get involved with the people you live around. Be there for them. That's a two-way street. They're going to be the ones there for you when life gets rough. I mean, let's be realistic. No matter how much my mom, my dad, or my best friend love me, that's not going to do me a lick of good when they're halfway cross the country and I have an urgent, real problem that I need help with NOW. If I'm ever in a situation like that, I'm not going to call them. I'm going to call the friends I have who live a couple minutes away. That's how it works, and that's how it should be. You need those around you, and they need you.
Also, I think there is a place for 'official' evangelism, you know, going door to door, or speaking out in public places proclaiming the gospel and the good news, but in my experience, I've found that actions speak louder than words. Sure, words are great, but what the world really wants to see is how you live it out. Most people I've met who have doubts about Christianity have them because they see the blatant hypocrisy of many 'Christians', and can't imagine there's any good reason they'd want to be a part of 'that'. So show them true Christianity. Show them how you live. Work hard, play hard, do it all to the glory of God, and don't compromise when evil comes knocking. Stay true to the Word, but don't whack them upside the head with your leather-bound, four-inch-thick, red-lettered KJV. What did Daniel do when commanded to not do what was right? He quietly did it anyway, despite what others might do. Following that example, we should do what's right but not make a big deal about it. I've worked lots of places where people cuss like sailors and have conversations that probably shouldn't be repeated. In places like those, hold your peace and don't capitulate and start using curse language too to 'fit in'. Your silence is deafening. They notice your lack of curse words, believe me. And when they ask for your opinion on whatever they're talking about, straight up tell them what you think without, pardon the expression, damning them to hell. And you know what? For the most part, they reject it, but they respect it. People appreciate honesty and straight-shooters, who live what they say they believe. And at the end of the day, isn't how you live the ultimate teller of what you really do believe? And whatever corner of the world you find yourself in, live the gospel, don't just speak it. Interact with those around you. Work hard. Play hard. Be the light of Christ to all you meet.
Thursday, October 12, 2017
For Worse Or For Better
October 12th, 2017
It seems to me that there's some things in life that you love and hate at the same time. Like when you find a sore spot on your leg and you hit it with your fist and it hurts but it feels good at the same time. Or Or when you slice one more piece of cheese and it tastes so good but you know you shouldn't be devouring all your cheese at once because it needs to last. Ok, well maybe you don't necessarily relate to those examples, but I'm sure you can think of things that you like and dislike at the same time. Maybe running, eating ice-cream, or cleaning the house. I don't know. At any rate, I think fall break can safely be put into this category. Yes, it is wonderful. I mean, some of us went camping yesterday and the day before, which was a blast. (In Oregon! I've never been there before! The mountains were beautiful! And when I woke up in the morning there was snow on the ground! And the rocks/cliffs were so fun to climb! And.. but I digress.) Earlier in the week, a bunch of us got together and watched Batman Begins at midnight. There was baked potatoes and peach cobbler with loads of vanilla ice-cream, and we drank tea and finished the movie at four in the morning. How much better can break get? And yet on the flip side it is just as boring as it is enormously fun. I spend way to much time slacking off and doing absolutely nothing all by myself and it gets boring. Whenever I or someone else tries to plan a fun outing nobody wants to do it because they want to wait till next week when more people are in town. So we end up doing nothing. Except for the few things that we do do. It is most assuredly the week of extremes. *sigh* If only I were more disciplined and got more stuff done, or better at getting people together to go do fun stuff. Or both. The first step to solving a problem is noting there's one present, right? At least I've got that part down. I'm going to try and be more proactive with the rest of my time this week and get more work and/or play done, and less of whatever it is that I've been doing that gobbles up the time. Because I honestly don't know where it went or how it was spent.
It seems to me that there's some things in life that you love and hate at the same time. Like when you find a sore spot on your leg and you hit it with your fist and it hurts but it feels good at the same time. Or Or when you slice one more piece of cheese and it tastes so good but you know you shouldn't be devouring all your cheese at once because it needs to last. Ok, well maybe you don't necessarily relate to those examples, but I'm sure you can think of things that you like and dislike at the same time. Maybe running, eating ice-cream, or cleaning the house. I don't know. At any rate, I think fall break can safely be put into this category. Yes, it is wonderful. I mean, some of us went camping yesterday and the day before, which was a blast. (In Oregon! I've never been there before! The mountains were beautiful! And when I woke up in the morning there was snow on the ground! And the rocks/cliffs were so fun to climb! And.. but I digress.) Earlier in the week, a bunch of us got together and watched Batman Begins at midnight. There was baked potatoes and peach cobbler with loads of vanilla ice-cream, and we drank tea and finished the movie at four in the morning. How much better can break get? And yet on the flip side it is just as boring as it is enormously fun. I spend way to much time slacking off and doing absolutely nothing all by myself and it gets boring. Whenever I or someone else tries to plan a fun outing nobody wants to do it because they want to wait till next week when more people are in town. So we end up doing nothing. Except for the few things that we do do. It is most assuredly the week of extremes. *sigh* If only I were more disciplined and got more stuff done, or better at getting people together to go do fun stuff. Or both. The first step to solving a problem is noting there's one present, right? At least I've got that part down. I'm going to try and be more proactive with the rest of my time this week and get more work and/or play done, and less of whatever it is that I've been doing that gobbles up the time. Because I honestly don't know where it went or how it was spent.
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
That Moment When You Do It Again
October 11th, 2017
Have you ever said something you immediately wished you hadn't? Yeah me neither. Or at least, that's what I'd like both of us to be able to say. Why do we do this to ourselves? How hard can it be to bite our tongues? You'd think that after all this time we'd learn to think things through before saying them. But why haven't we? Perhaps the solution is as simple as the problem. Say the wrong thing? Think before you speak! Simple, right? Sure. Sounds easy. Putting it into practice though is harder done than said. It's hard work. And we, being the lazy, slothful people we are, do our best to avoid such unpleasantries. And at what cost? Or rather, whose cost? Those who we harm with our words. If we put as much effort into controlling our tongues as we do in avoiding hard work, we'd be much better at not hurting our neighbors unintentionally. It's not easy, and I'm no professional myself. But join me, friend, in speaking judiciously and together we shall make this world a better place.
Have you ever said something you immediately wished you hadn't? Yeah me neither. Or at least, that's what I'd like both of us to be able to say. Why do we do this to ourselves? How hard can it be to bite our tongues? You'd think that after all this time we'd learn to think things through before saying them. But why haven't we? Perhaps the solution is as simple as the problem. Say the wrong thing? Think before you speak! Simple, right? Sure. Sounds easy. Putting it into practice though is harder done than said. It's hard work. And we, being the lazy, slothful people we are, do our best to avoid such unpleasantries. And at what cost? Or rather, whose cost? Those who we harm with our words. If we put as much effort into controlling our tongues as we do in avoiding hard work, we'd be much better at not hurting our neighbors unintentionally. It's not easy, and I'm no professional myself. But join me, friend, in speaking judiciously and together we shall make this world a better place.
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
Dog vs. Squirrel
Monday, October 9th, 2017
It came suddenly, without the faintest warning of all. There I was, innocently walking my dog Jex and talking on the phone with my mamma, when I noticed a movement at foot level a little ways ahead of me. A little squirrel, still young and inexperienced in the ways of the world, had just climbed down a tree and was now at the base of the trunk. But he had made a very dangerous mistake, which was to not pay attention to what was down on the ground before descending. As soon as he was down there, he stared face to face with Jex, who had seen him on the way down and was very eager to meet him. I stopped since Jex had, and for a long two seconds, squirrel and dog stared each other down, wondering what was to happen next. I half expected Jex to just sniff him like she would a cat, but then all of a sudden she lunged forward, grabbing the squirrel up in her mouth. The squirrel did his best to escape Jex's powerful jaws, but every time he got out of her mouth, Jex was too quick and grabbed him up again, chomping and chomping. By this time all conversation with my mother had ceased as I watched this scene unfold before my very eyes. Now Jex laid him down at the trunk of the tree, and, with ears pricked up and fire in her eyes, watched the squirrel as he, now paralyzed and unable to move, lay on his back screeching out the squeaks that signify death is knocking at his door. Now I didn't know what to do. I wanted to put him out of his misery, but I've never mercy killed a squirrel before! How do you even do that!? I mean, in all my years I've never been in such a situation because you just shoot them from afar and they die immediately. So should I bash his head in with my heel, or slit his throat with my knife? My options were pretty limited, there wasn't even a shovel handy. These questions swirled around in my mind while Jex again took her prize up in her mouth, trotted to the middle of the street, and set him down there. By now the squirrel had stopped screeching and merely blinked. And then his life faded away and he died. Well, that was it I guess. Now Jex lost interest in him and she tugged at her leash ready to continue our walk.
For what it was worth, I'm proud of her. She never attacks cats, chickens, other dogs, or any creature I tell her is good and needs to be protected. But squirrels? We used to go hunting for them in our woods, and even now I let her chase them up trees whenever she sees them. It's just that I wasn't prepared for it to happen like it did. But Jex was quite pleased with herself, and she gazed at me with those eyes as if to say, "Did you see what I did? That was great wasn't it!" And what do I think? "That's just one more reason Jex is the bestest dog ever."
It came suddenly, without the faintest warning of all. There I was, innocently walking my dog Jex and talking on the phone with my mamma, when I noticed a movement at foot level a little ways ahead of me. A little squirrel, still young and inexperienced in the ways of the world, had just climbed down a tree and was now at the base of the trunk. But he had made a very dangerous mistake, which was to not pay attention to what was down on the ground before descending. As soon as he was down there, he stared face to face with Jex, who had seen him on the way down and was very eager to meet him. I stopped since Jex had, and for a long two seconds, squirrel and dog stared each other down, wondering what was to happen next. I half expected Jex to just sniff him like she would a cat, but then all of a sudden she lunged forward, grabbing the squirrel up in her mouth. The squirrel did his best to escape Jex's powerful jaws, but every time he got out of her mouth, Jex was too quick and grabbed him up again, chomping and chomping. By this time all conversation with my mother had ceased as I watched this scene unfold before my very eyes. Now Jex laid him down at the trunk of the tree, and, with ears pricked up and fire in her eyes, watched the squirrel as he, now paralyzed and unable to move, lay on his back screeching out the squeaks that signify death is knocking at his door. Now I didn't know what to do. I wanted to put him out of his misery, but I've never mercy killed a squirrel before! How do you even do that!? I mean, in all my years I've never been in such a situation because you just shoot them from afar and they die immediately. So should I bash his head in with my heel, or slit his throat with my knife? My options were pretty limited, there wasn't even a shovel handy. These questions swirled around in my mind while Jex again took her prize up in her mouth, trotted to the middle of the street, and set him down there. By now the squirrel had stopped screeching and merely blinked. And then his life faded away and he died. Well, that was it I guess. Now Jex lost interest in him and she tugged at her leash ready to continue our walk.
For what it was worth, I'm proud of her. She never attacks cats, chickens, other dogs, or any creature I tell her is good and needs to be protected. But squirrels? We used to go hunting for them in our woods, and even now I let her chase them up trees whenever she sees them. It's just that I wasn't prepared for it to happen like it did. But Jex was quite pleased with herself, and she gazed at me with those eyes as if to say, "Did you see what I did? That was great wasn't it!" And what do I think? "That's just one more reason Jex is the bestest dog ever."
Monday, October 9, 2017
Augustine's View of Creation
Saint
Augustine’s view of creation as set forth in his book ‘Confessions’ is rather
involved, and here I'll seek to enlighten the reader on a few major points
regarding his particular interpretation of a fraction of the creation narrative.
When Augustine reads “In the beginning, God
created the heavens and the earth.”[1],
he does not conclude that the universe was just as complete then as after the
seventh day of creation. Rather, the ‘earth’ referred to is this sort of
formlessness which preceded the creation of earth as we know it. It was a
formlessness which was invisible, standing between the seemingly exclusive
camps of ‘form’ and ‘nothing’. This is a mystery that Augustine dwells on for a
time, and eventually concludes that our human minds simply cannot fathom this
formlessness; yet it existed. Since this formless matter was made ‘In the
beginning’ one might wonder why God didn’t start counting the days from this
point. To look into this matter through Augustine’s lenses, you’ll need to
understand his concept of time. First, time can only exist where there is
something mutable. If there was nothing to mark the passage of time, time
wouldn’t exist. Second, the mutable thing needs to actually change, not just
possess the ability to change.
“For
where there is no form, no order, nothing comes or goes into the past, and
where this does not happen, there are obviously no days and nothing of the
coming and passing of temporal periods.”[2]
With this in mind, it is clear that time
couldn’t have begun after heaven and earth were made before the first day, as
nothing in fact actually changed until day one. Now, doesn’t the very word
‘beginning’ imply that time exists? In the strictest sense, yes, it does. Yet
because our whole existence has been in time and we know nothing but time, we
can’t properly describe what we are trying to communicate with the words we
have available to us. So in this particular context time is not implied. This being
said then, it is clear that two things were created outside of time. The first
was, as Augustine says,
“…so given form that, although
mutable, yet without any cessation of its contemplation, without any
interruption caused by change, it experiences unswerving enjoyment of your
eternity and immutability.”[3]
This
is the ‘heaven’ spoken of in Gen. 1:1; not the firmament heaven, which was made
on day two out of the invisible unorganized formlessness, but rather it is the
heaven of heaven, the House of God. Notice that although the heaven is mutable,
it doesn’t change form while it experiences the enjoyment of all of God’s
eternity. And, since heaven is perpetually concentrated on God who is himself
immutable, heaven undergoes no change. As you’ll recall, something is subject
to time when it changes, either in movement or form. So, since heaven never
undergoes any change, even though it is able to, heaven is not subject to time.
Also, since God is himself immutable, by the very definition of time God cannot
possibly be subject to it. Thus, God is outside of the realm of time.
The
second thing created outside of time is the formless matter. This matter was so
formless that it couldn’t even move from form to form, or change in any way.
And so by its very nature the matter is not subject to time. Thus there was
nothing in existence over which time could preside, and therefore both ‘heaven’
and ‘earth’ were created outside of time.
It is
also important to point out that God created this formless matter ex nihilo,
out of nothing. For if the matter existed eternally with God, then we have a
God who is not all-powerful, for he needed something besides himself to exist
so he could create. This matter would then be equal to his Son, and therefore
to himself. This is an impossibility, Augustine says, as nothing besides God
can be equal to himself. And if instead the matter was made out of God, then we
begin to fall into the mindset of monism (Which would be too long a rabbit
trail to go down for the purposes of this paper.). Thus it is very important
that the matter, the formlessness, be made entirely out of nothing. Augustine
himself states,
“Nevertheless, all things were
made not of the very substance of God but out of nothing…”[4]
Augustine
is delighted by the fact that even in the very first book of the Bible, we have
mention of the Trinity. In confirmation of this he says,
“For first we have the
statement: ‘In the beginning God created heaven and earth’, by which it can be
understood that the Father created ‘in the Son’ an interpretation which is
supported by one of the psalms, where we read, ‘How glorified are your works,
Lord: you have made all things in Wisdom.’”[5]
So here
we have the Father and the Son; and, fittingly, the Holy Spirit is mentioned
soon after in Gen. 1:2 hovering over the face of the waters.
Now,
these waters were never specifically mentioned as being created, although
Augustine correctly reasons that God still must have created them, as the
waters could not have been coeternal with Him. Therefore, the ‘waters’ were
created under the heading ‘earth’ in Genesis 1:1. Since we know that the waters
are beautiful, how could the earth, being that same formless matter, not be
beautiful as the waters are? It follows then that at least at the onset, the
waters were not beautiful. As the waters are not still formless and invisible, but
are indeed beautiful, it must be that at some point the waters received their
form. Perhaps, Augustine conjectures, they received their form on day two, when
God separated the waters making the firmament heaven. Yet this cannot be, as
there is still no mention of the waters being created, or any reference to
their being given form. It merely says that they were ‘separated’. From here,
Augustine ponders the ramifications of believing that the waters received their
form on day three, when God gathered the waters under the firmament together.
This could make some sense, as this gathering could be seen as the bestowal of
form. This then brings forth a new
question, regarding the waters above the firmament. When did those waters
receive their form? For, as Augustine says,
“They
would not have deserved to receive so honorable a position had they lacked
form, and scripture does not record the utterance by which they received form.”[6]
In the
end then Augustine is left with more questions than he started with regarding
the waters, and he never really comes to a solid conclusion on this point.
Instead he satisfies himself with the belief that God certainly did create the
waters, both above and below the firmament, albeit we do not know exactly when
that was in the creation narrative.
To put
it all in one place, Augustine believed that God, the Three in One, created the
world out of complete and utter nothingness. Before day one of the creation
narrative, He had already made this indescribable formlessness and the heaven
of heaven, both of which preceded time. The word ‘beginning’ is understood not
to be the marker for the commencement of time, but rather as a word used in a
special context to describe the indescribable. The waters, which were present
before day one, most likely received their form sometime before day three.
Bibliography
Augustine. City of God, Translated by Henry Bettenson. New York, NY: Penguin
Books, 2003.
______. Confessions, Translated by Henry Chadwick. Oxford, NY: Oxford University Press, 2008.
Arequipa
Written Sometime 2013ish
It was a strange day indeed. The seas were thick with froth and foam. The rain came down in capricious downpours, yet the sun stayed constantly bright even during the rain. The fleet was preparing for the engagement that would decide the fate of their fair city Arequipa. With grim faces and beating hearts the sailors set about their work of rigging the ships for war. The cannons were set out and loaded. The muskets were clean and ready. The long spears were placed where they could be had at a moments notice. At last, everything was ready and all that remained to be done was to sit and wait for the approach of the enemy. The water was glassy calm, and through the fog they could see but little. It was eerily quiet. Everybody knew there would no warning when they struck, and so each moment passed filled with the anxiety of all four hundred men.
Now while our brave men are waiting for the approaching storm, let me take a moment to describe the nature of the enemy. You see, the reason nobody knew when they would strike was because the enemy would be coming from underneath them, coming from the depths of the ocean. Our men will be fighting sea monsters. For centuries the city of Arequipa had been defending themselves from the sea monsters, and once again they were attacking. They come exactly three times a year: on the 14th of April, the 14th of August, and the 14th of December. Why are they so punctual? No one knows, but what we do know is that the navy must be ready on those days, or else the sea monsters would make it to the beach, turn into dragons, and destroy the city. Only once had any sea monsters made it to the beach. Just two had made it, and they had destroyed a third of the city before the army had stopped them. If a dozen ever made it through, that would be the end of Arequipa. That is why the fleet is so important, for it is much easier to stop them in the water. And now to describe the sea monsters. There are many different types and species, but I will only tell you about the most common of them. First of all there are Gulpers, who have huge mouths. They suck up lots of water, and then spit it out on your ship to try to fill it with water and sink it.Then there are three different types of Drivers: Whackers, Pokers, and Cutters, who try to destroy the hull of the ship by making holes in it. Drivers, unlike Gulpers, are fast, slender, and easy to take out, but there are three times as many Drivers as Gulpers. One of the most dangerous sea monsters though are the Tectonics, named so because they resemble the tectonic plates under the earth's crust. They are very large and flat sea monsters who hit the bottom of your boat with so much force that often times will immediately sink the vessel. To meet all these threats, the Arequipians had designed their boats as strongly as possible, and they had found that the best design was that of a circle. There was no longer the weakness of having a broadside, and during a Tectonic attack the ship could be tossed in any direction without fear of sinking. They also had two large bilge pumps on-board that could pump an impressive amount of water during a Gulper attack. All in all it was a hard to sink ship.
And now back to our men who are waiting on the ships. Nothing was happening until all of a sudden twelve Drivers darted up and began beating on the ships. Muskets sounded, and several Drivers sank down. Then two Gulpers jumped out of the water and half filled two ships with water. It happened so fast the men didn't have time to grab their spears. All of a sudden the water became really choppy and waves began to form.
"Tectonics!!" the admiral roared. "Brace yourselves and ready the cannons!"
As soon as Admiral Johnson saw the dark form of the Tectonics rising up he yelled, "FIRE!"
With a deafening bang the cannons went off, and one Tectonic was shattered into a thousand pieces. The others kept coming and began knocking the ships around. Cracks began to form on two of the boats, and one ship was sunk altogether. There was no time to mourn the loss, as twenty Drivers joined the Tectonics in the fray. Another volley from the cannons, and two more Tectonics were sent to the depths. The Drivers concentrated their attack on the two ships with cracks, while the men fired their muskets at them. Unfortunately many holes were made in the two ships and water came in faster than they could pump it out. Thankfully their friends in the other ships saw this and sailed over. Then the men from the sinking ships climbed aboard and were saved from drowning. However, the fight was not yet over. Four Gulpers jumped up to dump water. One was successful and sunk one of the half-filled ships. The other three were speared, but one of them fell down dead inside the ship! The men, with much pushing, heaving, and grunting, finally managed to shove it overboard, but not before some Drivers had managed to make a hole. With pumps going full speed though, they kept up with the water. The fight raged on. Half an hour later two more ships had been sunk and twenty-three more sea monsters sent to the depths. It was a close fight. Half the fleet had been destroyed, and of the remaining four, only one didn't need their pump to stay afloat. But they had done it. They stopped the sea monster invasion. Arequipa was safe once again.
With that done, the little boy dried his hands, drained the water, and before switching the light off looked upon his work. "A job well done." he said to himself. And with that he left the kitchen.
It was a strange day indeed. The seas were thick with froth and foam. The rain came down in capricious downpours, yet the sun stayed constantly bright even during the rain. The fleet was preparing for the engagement that would decide the fate of their fair city Arequipa. With grim faces and beating hearts the sailors set about their work of rigging the ships for war. The cannons were set out and loaded. The muskets were clean and ready. The long spears were placed where they could be had at a moments notice. At last, everything was ready and all that remained to be done was to sit and wait for the approach of the enemy. The water was glassy calm, and through the fog they could see but little. It was eerily quiet. Everybody knew there would no warning when they struck, and so each moment passed filled with the anxiety of all four hundred men.
Now while our brave men are waiting for the approaching storm, let me take a moment to describe the nature of the enemy. You see, the reason nobody knew when they would strike was because the enemy would be coming from underneath them, coming from the depths of the ocean. Our men will be fighting sea monsters. For centuries the city of Arequipa had been defending themselves from the sea monsters, and once again they were attacking. They come exactly three times a year: on the 14th of April, the 14th of August, and the 14th of December. Why are they so punctual? No one knows, but what we do know is that the navy must be ready on those days, or else the sea monsters would make it to the beach, turn into dragons, and destroy the city. Only once had any sea monsters made it to the beach. Just two had made it, and they had destroyed a third of the city before the army had stopped them. If a dozen ever made it through, that would be the end of Arequipa. That is why the fleet is so important, for it is much easier to stop them in the water. And now to describe the sea monsters. There are many different types and species, but I will only tell you about the most common of them. First of all there are Gulpers, who have huge mouths. They suck up lots of water, and then spit it out on your ship to try to fill it with water and sink it.Then there are three different types of Drivers: Whackers, Pokers, and Cutters, who try to destroy the hull of the ship by making holes in it. Drivers, unlike Gulpers, are fast, slender, and easy to take out, but there are three times as many Drivers as Gulpers. One of the most dangerous sea monsters though are the Tectonics, named so because they resemble the tectonic plates under the earth's crust. They are very large and flat sea monsters who hit the bottom of your boat with so much force that often times will immediately sink the vessel. To meet all these threats, the Arequipians had designed their boats as strongly as possible, and they had found that the best design was that of a circle. There was no longer the weakness of having a broadside, and during a Tectonic attack the ship could be tossed in any direction without fear of sinking. They also had two large bilge pumps on-board that could pump an impressive amount of water during a Gulper attack. All in all it was a hard to sink ship.
And now back to our men who are waiting on the ships. Nothing was happening until all of a sudden twelve Drivers darted up and began beating on the ships. Muskets sounded, and several Drivers sank down. Then two Gulpers jumped out of the water and half filled two ships with water. It happened so fast the men didn't have time to grab their spears. All of a sudden the water became really choppy and waves began to form.
"Tectonics!!" the admiral roared. "Brace yourselves and ready the cannons!"
As soon as Admiral Johnson saw the dark form of the Tectonics rising up he yelled, "FIRE!"
With a deafening bang the cannons went off, and one Tectonic was shattered into a thousand pieces. The others kept coming and began knocking the ships around. Cracks began to form on two of the boats, and one ship was sunk altogether. There was no time to mourn the loss, as twenty Drivers joined the Tectonics in the fray. Another volley from the cannons, and two more Tectonics were sent to the depths. The Drivers concentrated their attack on the two ships with cracks, while the men fired their muskets at them. Unfortunately many holes were made in the two ships and water came in faster than they could pump it out. Thankfully their friends in the other ships saw this and sailed over. Then the men from the sinking ships climbed aboard and were saved from drowning. However, the fight was not yet over. Four Gulpers jumped up to dump water. One was successful and sunk one of the half-filled ships. The other three were speared, but one of them fell down dead inside the ship! The men, with much pushing, heaving, and grunting, finally managed to shove it overboard, but not before some Drivers had managed to make a hole. With pumps going full speed though, they kept up with the water. The fight raged on. Half an hour later two more ships had been sunk and twenty-three more sea monsters sent to the depths. It was a close fight. Half the fleet had been destroyed, and of the remaining four, only one didn't need their pump to stay afloat. But they had done it. They stopped the sea monster invasion. Arequipa was safe once again.
With that done, the little boy dried his hands, drained the water, and before switching the light off looked upon his work. "A job well done." he said to himself. And with that he left the kitchen.
A Pig Tale
Written Sometime 2015ish
This story was written in a very particular way. Can you notice what makes it so special?
Once upon a time a tiny, cute, but sad pig went for a walk in the wood. She did moan and cry and go on and on for her tail was not as she did wish it to be. Just then, she hap'd upon an old wise frog.
"Why do you cry so?" said he.
"My tail is not good like the tail of the pony, who has a long and cute tail. Mine is not long, nor is it cute. In fact, it is ugly!"
"My dear pig," said the frog, "you want what you can not have. You must be glad that you have a tail, and like it as well."
"Yeah, but you don't have a tail, so how do you know?"
And with that she ran off and left the frog. Next she came to a girl who had her hair done in a pig tail. "You have a pig tail just like me!" said the pig. "But a pig tail is ugly. I want a tail like the pony has."
Then the girl said, "Oh, then look at this!"
And very soon she had made her hair into a pony tail!
"Ooh, can you do that to me?" said the pig with much glee.
"Why yes, I can try," said the girl, "but it may hurt."
"Okay, I don't care, I just want a pony tail."
So the girl did pull on her tail to make it long like a pony tail, but then, oh no! With a loud pop! it came off!
"Aaah!" both of them did yell.
The girl felt so bad that she ran off back to her home as fast as her feet did go.
"I must go back to the frog and ask him what to do. He will know."
So off the pig went, and soon did she find him in the same spot he was at noon time of this day.
"I lost my tail!" she did cry. "I want it back, what do I need to do?"
"What did you do to lose it?" said the frog.
And so she told him all.
"Hmmm, I can't help you at all. You must do as I said at noon and be glad with what you have."
And so the pig left very sad, for she had no hope to get her tail back. But, I will tell you this, she did do as the frog had said, and you won't ever find a pig as glad as her. In fact, once one year had gone by, a nice newt saw how glad she was thru that hard time, and so he told her how a newt can grow his tail back, and so the pig did try to do it too. Four days went by, and then she had a nice new pig tail! She was very glad, from her nose to her tail, and then the frog and the newt and the girl and the pig ran off and they did play from dawn till dusk.
Figure it out? The thing about this whole story is that only words with four or fewer letters are used. Surprising how easily we don't notice it. Does that say something about our modern vocabulary usage? I'll let you be the judge.
This story was written in a very particular way. Can you notice what makes it so special?
Once upon a time a tiny, cute, but sad pig went for a walk in the wood. She did moan and cry and go on and on for her tail was not as she did wish it to be. Just then, she hap'd upon an old wise frog.
"Why do you cry so?" said he.
"My tail is not good like the tail of the pony, who has a long and cute tail. Mine is not long, nor is it cute. In fact, it is ugly!"
"My dear pig," said the frog, "you want what you can not have. You must be glad that you have a tail, and like it as well."
"Yeah, but you don't have a tail, so how do you know?"
And with that she ran off and left the frog. Next she came to a girl who had her hair done in a pig tail. "You have a pig tail just like me!" said the pig. "But a pig tail is ugly. I want a tail like the pony has."
Then the girl said, "Oh, then look at this!"
And very soon she had made her hair into a pony tail!
"Ooh, can you do that to me?" said the pig with much glee.
"Why yes, I can try," said the girl, "but it may hurt."
"Okay, I don't care, I just want a pony tail."
So the girl did pull on her tail to make it long like a pony tail, but then, oh no! With a loud pop! it came off!
"Aaah!" both of them did yell.
The girl felt so bad that she ran off back to her home as fast as her feet did go.
"I must go back to the frog and ask him what to do. He will know."
So off the pig went, and soon did she find him in the same spot he was at noon time of this day.
"I lost my tail!" she did cry. "I want it back, what do I need to do?"
"What did you do to lose it?" said the frog.
And so she told him all.
"Hmmm, I can't help you at all. You must do as I said at noon and be glad with what you have."
And so the pig left very sad, for she had no hope to get her tail back. But, I will tell you this, she did do as the frog had said, and you won't ever find a pig as glad as her. In fact, once one year had gone by, a nice newt saw how glad she was thru that hard time, and so he told her how a newt can grow his tail back, and so the pig did try to do it too. Four days went by, and then she had a nice new pig tail! She was very glad, from her nose to her tail, and then the frog and the newt and the girl and the pig ran off and they did play from dawn till dusk.
Figure it out? The thing about this whole story is that only words with four or fewer letters are used. Surprising how easily we don't notice it. Does that say something about our modern vocabulary usage? I'll let you be the judge.
Sunday, October 8, 2017
On The Degradation Of Society
October 8th, 2017
A couple days ago, someone congratulated me on the fact that we now had a 'real' trashcan. It's one of those tall white ones that can hold a regular trashbag full of trash, and it even has one of those fancy foot levers that opens it with the press of a foot. Previously all we had was a little trashcan which only holds a plastic grocery bag's worth of trash. Our new trashcan, as it was thought, was a vast improvement.
But was it really? I don't think so. I had been against getting a new trashcan. Not that there was ever a conversation about upgrading to a bigger trashcan, but I had already thought about it and rejected the potential upgrade on principal. Here's why:
1. The baby trashcans save money because you never need to buy liners for them. That's where all those plastic bags go that we get at the grocery store, which leads me to my next point:
2. They recycle, keeping the earth green. (For those of you who know me pretty well, this may sound funny, but it's true. I'm only against recycling when it is compulsory or federally funded.) Re-purposing is probably a better word for it. At any rate, all those grocery bags you get from the store are used as trash bags, and are not thrown away in the trash. (Hahae, they are not thrown away uselessly in the trash.)
3. They can be relied upon to give you almost daily opportunities for furthering your sanctification.
That last point is my main one. What is more annoying than constantly having to take out a miniscule bag of trash over and over and over again? It fills up so quickly! It gets so annoying that you try all you can to not have to take it out. You're like, "Eh, I can fit one more empty jug of milk in there. Five more egg shells and a butter wrapper? Yeah, go ahead, it'll fit." Before long you're competing to see who's the better architect and not cause this monolith of human achievement to topple. I mean, once it gets over a cubit above the top of the can you start getting a little proud, maybe even arrogant. "Who has built this tower and laid its foundation?" you'll say. "And who will continue to build it until Friday night when we have company come over and I don't want us to look like the slobs we are and finally throw it into the dumpster? Me! None but my hands have wrought this great deed!" and you pat yourself on the back. Well, this may not be everyone's temptation, but in general people do their best to avoid taking it out. "Eh, that's what flatmates are for. They'll get around to it eventually." we all say. But the problem is, we all say it. Everybody thinks everybody else should do it, or worse, thinks that 'somebody ought to' take the trash. 'Somebody ought to...' is a very dangerous phrase. Generally, if you find yourself thinking this, that 'somebody' should probably be you, and you're probably part of the problem.
So you see, then, the temptations surrounding little trashcans, and our natural propensity to avoid the problem, through sloth, apathy, an outright refusal to do as one ought, or the trump card of all excuses, "I'm just too busy right now." Funny how such a small little thing can bring all those vices we pretend aren't there to the surface! That's what makes little trashcans such an essential household item. No other thing I know of provides such a great training opportunity for resisting the temptations of laziness and excuse-making. It's a way to strengthen you in the areas you need it most, while doing so in a place where the consequences are minimal. This is what makes little trashcans so great, and why we should keep them around.
A couple days ago, someone congratulated me on the fact that we now had a 'real' trashcan. It's one of those tall white ones that can hold a regular trashbag full of trash, and it even has one of those fancy foot levers that opens it with the press of a foot. Previously all we had was a little trashcan which only holds a plastic grocery bag's worth of trash. Our new trashcan, as it was thought, was a vast improvement.
But was it really? I don't think so. I had been against getting a new trashcan. Not that there was ever a conversation about upgrading to a bigger trashcan, but I had already thought about it and rejected the potential upgrade on principal. Here's why:
1. The baby trashcans save money because you never need to buy liners for them. That's where all those plastic bags go that we get at the grocery store, which leads me to my next point:
2. They recycle, keeping the earth green. (For those of you who know me pretty well, this may sound funny, but it's true. I'm only against recycling when it is compulsory or federally funded.) Re-purposing is probably a better word for it. At any rate, all those grocery bags you get from the store are used as trash bags, and are not thrown away in the trash. (Hahae, they are not thrown away uselessly in the trash.)
3. They can be relied upon to give you almost daily opportunities for furthering your sanctification.
That last point is my main one. What is more annoying than constantly having to take out a miniscule bag of trash over and over and over again? It fills up so quickly! It gets so annoying that you try all you can to not have to take it out. You're like, "Eh, I can fit one more empty jug of milk in there. Five more egg shells and a butter wrapper? Yeah, go ahead, it'll fit." Before long you're competing to see who's the better architect and not cause this monolith of human achievement to topple. I mean, once it gets over a cubit above the top of the can you start getting a little proud, maybe even arrogant. "Who has built this tower and laid its foundation?" you'll say. "And who will continue to build it until Friday night when we have company come over and I don't want us to look like the slobs we are and finally throw it into the dumpster? Me! None but my hands have wrought this great deed!" and you pat yourself on the back. Well, this may not be everyone's temptation, but in general people do their best to avoid taking it out. "Eh, that's what flatmates are for. They'll get around to it eventually." we all say. But the problem is, we all say it. Everybody thinks everybody else should do it, or worse, thinks that 'somebody ought to' take the trash. 'Somebody ought to...' is a very dangerous phrase. Generally, if you find yourself thinking this, that 'somebody' should probably be you, and you're probably part of the problem.
So you see, then, the temptations surrounding little trashcans, and our natural propensity to avoid the problem, through sloth, apathy, an outright refusal to do as one ought, or the trump card of all excuses, "I'm just too busy right now." Funny how such a small little thing can bring all those vices we pretend aren't there to the surface! That's what makes little trashcans such an essential household item. No other thing I know of provides such a great training opportunity for resisting the temptations of laziness and excuse-making. It's a way to strengthen you in the areas you need it most, while doing so in a place where the consequences are minimal. This is what makes little trashcans so great, and why we should keep them around.
Saturday, October 7, 2017
The First Fine Final Finale (Finally!)
Monday-Wednesday, October 2nd-4th, 2017
Well, I'm alive. Not quite sure how I did it, but, well.. yeah. This whole week has been a blur, I can hardly remember all the stuff I did. I seem to remember a couple late nights at the U of I library, complete with hours of studying, butter with bread I baked, those sorts of exercises you can do in an empty library at two in the morning to give yourself some relief from all the mental work, and long stints of giving life advice to whoever happened to be present. At any rate, I passed all my exams (or at least I assume so, though I haven't got the grades back yet) and that's an end to it. You're probably not that interested in reading all about exactly everything I studied and how each and every exam went and all the other stuff related to it, and I know for sure that I certainly don't want to revisit this week all over again, especially so soon after finishing it. So I'll just save us all the trouble and only write about the fun stuff that happened at the end of the week.
Thursday, October 5th
To celebrate the finish of finals week, a lot of us went to the turf field and played frisbee and smashface. Part way through I ran over to the library and helped Brooke, Anna, and Mariah, while George and Darcey popped in and out. (Some people had finals on Friday but most of us were done on Thursday.) They'd managed to get the awesome spot with a circle table surrounding by three huge whiteboards. This made drawing maps, writing down important details, and explaining stuff super convenient. And it was so much fun! I'd already finished my history exam so I knew the material pretty well, so I just took them through all the stuff the same way I had studied it. My explanation of Assyria, Babylon, and all those other Near-Eastern countries was complete with tellings of all the details, dates, extra details, and even a special introduction to the Assyrian king affectionately known as Big Daddy Tiglath-Pilesar. (This is because when Ahaz king of Judah was being attacked by Rezin king of Syria and Pekah king of Israel, Ahaz called out to Tiglath-Pilesar king of Assyria for help. Tiglath was like, "I'm coming to save you widdle Judah, just give me some gold and I'll be on my way down. So Ahaz sent some gold up there and Tiglath saved him from his oppressors. That's why we call him Big Daddy. This all made so much more sense and was a ton funner at two in the morning several days earlier when I was first going over it, and the name kinda stuck.) I also added hypothetical conversations (Now I know that some of you may be tempted to think these very words (Concerning Big Daddy and the king I'm just about to 'quote') were said and passed down for generations in their current form, but please realize these words are just me explaining the details of what happened in a way so everybody understands and remembers better. [That is, if any of you were actually wondering if I was quoting a source document; which I was not, I can assure you. {Wow, just realized I'm going a little overboard with all the parenthetical explanations. This is probably going to be kinda confusing to read, but bear with me. (But please do realize it was necessary because it wasn't quite the right time to start a new paragraph because I'm still going to be continuing the narrative where we left off when I started this. [This, funny enough, I just realized, will probably make no sense after such a long interlude. {You should probably go back, read the beginning of the sentence, then skip all the parentheses and keep reading. (You can thank me later for such stellar advice. [Ok wow, this is really getting out of hand, I need to stop. {Oh, but do realize I at least remembered to end all my parentheses correctly! (To be honest I'm kinda proud of that. [Right, that's enough, back to the narrative!])}])}])}]) that the various kings had. (Such as: "And then Shalmeneser III was like, "Sit down!!" and Jehu and Ben-Hadad and their armies got tore to shreds." Or again, "...and so Samaria fell. And that was the end of Israel, they're gone, wiped off the map. [here I erased 'Israel' off the whiteboard] At least now there's not so many countries to keep track of!) And, last but not least, sound effects. Those are very necessary, and they get the point across clearly and succinctly. We made a lot of progress and got through a bunch of material. It was so much fun! (I found out later it really helped them with their exams, so that made it that much better!)
After about an hour and a half or so of that, I had to leave them. It was about five past eleven when I got to Winco, where I bought a gallon each of vanilla ice cream and milk. And then I drove back to my place, where plenty of the people from frisbee and smashface had already congregated for our... I don't know what you call. Soon enough we started making pancakes and frying chicken, and around half-past midnight we had a decent meal. Ooh, but before that we ate ice cream and apple crisp and apple pie that some of the girls had made. (If I remember right it was Charli, Ruth, and Hannah G) At one point everybody was all in a big circle talking, except a couple of us in the kitchen. And then it happened! I'd been waiting all day for this moment. Luke and Ruth were talking, and she found out it hadn't been him, but me! Here I need to explain myself a bit. Earlier this morning everybody was frantically studying for our Latin final that afternoon, and everybody and his brother was publishing new google docs and posting them on the Latin page for everybody else to study. Well, Ruth made one covering all those proper names that decline really weird. At the moment she posted it, I happened to be online. I clicked on it. At the top right screen it shows who all is 'on' the google doc. There was only Ruth and myself, but since I wasn't logged into a google account I showed up on the doc as an anonymous pumpkin. This sparked an idea in my mind. It was the perfect time to have fun with my anonymity! Here is the full conversation for your viewing pleasure. (I'll use brackets to explain what's happening, everything else is what was actually written.)
First here's the original, for all yall who like to read things in their original context. Translation is below, with notes. Quick warning: everything is funnier in Latin, so although the English may not be the funniest thing and some things may seem crude or out of place, just remember that it all makes better sense in Latin.
Ruth: ARE YOU.... MASCULINE OR FEMININE?
Me: I'm not allowed to say.
Ruth: Are you... animal, vegetable, or mineral?
Me: (sigh of resignation) I am feminine.
Ruth: YOU ARE LYDIA. [First she wrote Kyla, but then deleted and wrote Lydia.]
Me: And you think I am Lydia?? I am not.
Ruth: Aww! Ah! You're Alathea.
Me: I should confess something... I'm masculine. I just wanted to see who'd you think I was if you thought I was feminine.
Ruth: Good grief! Well then... Are you Luke?
Me: That's right! Hahaha
Ruth: You oughta be tortured.
Me: Well, I gotta get going now, bye!
Ruth: Goodbye!
[some time later]
Luke: It was NOT Luke! You were lied to!! Ruth, you were right the first time. ;)
Ruth: WHAT... FORRRR?? Does it delight everybody to scorn me!
[Evidently she missed the part saying how she was right at first and still didn't know it was me, just only that it wasn't Luke.]
[Halfway through this narrative Luke came downstairs and was wondering what in the world I was laughing so heartily about, so I showed him what I was up to and he laughed too.]
So I basically just framed Luke for this whole thing. Right before this conversation ended, Luke left to go to the school, but I ran after him and caught him before he was out of the parking lot.
"Oh, if you see Ruth, make sure not to say anything!"
"Alright, got it! haha Let me know how long you drag it out for!"
And then I promptly threw him under the bus. And that's how Ruth went through the whole day thinking it was Luke who had done this whole extensive thingy. Fast forward to tonight when Luke just told Ruth it was me and not him.
She was like, "IT WAS YOU! AGHH, I SHOULD'VE KNOWN!!
I just laughed my head off, beaming smiles at what I'd pulled off. Of course, everybody else had no idea what had just transpired and were wondering why Ruth was yelling with such shock and dismay. So I told the story of what had happened and filled everybody in on it, and then we all had a good laugh.
Then Bobby and Rachel thought it'd be a great idea to play spoons, so we started a humongous game of it. Part way through Ruth got super tired and started to go home, so I gave her a ride and dropped her off at her place. When I got back it was down to just Hannah A and Ben P. Then a second later Ben grabbed the last spoon, and that was that. Then we sat around and talked for a while about all sorts of things, and by an by Hannah, too, decided it was time to get going. It was quite late by this time, (it was late to start with!) so I drove her back as well. We continued talking in our now smaller circle, (other people had left too) delving into Ben's perception on hugging, and after that unpacking Kat's thoughts about how she respects reserved people. That got into a whole discussion which I shan't get into right now, but by and by Luke and Christy, who had been cleaning the kitchen and talking, finished up and joined us. Christy just stood on the carpet instead of sitting down, and a couple minutes later I asked if she wanted to go home. She looked tired, which was definitely the case since I had seen her fall asleep, while standing, and do that thingy where you nod your head down then wake up and jerk your head upright again. She was definitely tired, and that's the reason she gave for standing, because it'd keep her awake. But she sat down anyway Indian style (with legs crossed and back in an upright position) and promptly fell asleep, or at least almost out of consciousness. A little after this, at about three in the morning, we decided to call it and all go back home. Ben drove off, John stayed because he was just going to crash at our place, and the six girls went out. Kat came back in a second later to find her phone, then left again. Then we found Rachel's phone, so I ran out to catch them before they drove off. Except they weren't driving off, but just walking towards home. I thought Charli had driven her car! I caught up with Rachel and gave her the phone, then petitioned them to let me drive them back since it'd be so much easier.
Charli queried, "Is there even enough room for all of us?"
"Oh yes, there's plenty of room."
At this news they were all down for it except Charli, who wanted to walk.
"Ok well yall just go on ahead, I want to walk."
But Christy implored, "But Charli, you should come with us! You shouldn't walk back all by yourself!"
"No, really, I'll be fine. Go on and ride!"
Then Christy pulled a super diplomatic move. "Fine, well since you don't want to come with us I guess we'll ALL just have to walk because you don't want to ride."
So everybody turned around and started walking back toward Charli. At last though, she caved.
"Ugh, oh all right!"
And so it was decided. Three jumped into the back and the rest piled into the cab. And then those in the cab started laughing, so I looked up. There was Luke and John, with the curtains pulled back, staring out at us wondering what was taking me so long to drop off a phone. They were making funny, exaggerated expressions, staring in mock shock, awe, and wonder. We all laughed once more and drove off. A little later they were all back home and I was back at my place, exhausted. So I went to bed.
And that was that. Fall break, here I come!
Well, I'm alive. Not quite sure how I did it, but, well.. yeah. This whole week has been a blur, I can hardly remember all the stuff I did. I seem to remember a couple late nights at the U of I library, complete with hours of studying, butter with bread I baked, those sorts of exercises you can do in an empty library at two in the morning to give yourself some relief from all the mental work, and long stints of giving life advice to whoever happened to be present. At any rate, I passed all my exams (or at least I assume so, though I haven't got the grades back yet) and that's an end to it. You're probably not that interested in reading all about exactly everything I studied and how each and every exam went and all the other stuff related to it, and I know for sure that I certainly don't want to revisit this week all over again, especially so soon after finishing it. So I'll just save us all the trouble and only write about the fun stuff that happened at the end of the week.
Thursday, October 5th
To celebrate the finish of finals week, a lot of us went to the turf field and played frisbee and smashface. Part way through I ran over to the library and helped Brooke, Anna, and Mariah, while George and Darcey popped in and out. (Some people had finals on Friday but most of us were done on Thursday.) They'd managed to get the awesome spot with a circle table surrounding by three huge whiteboards. This made drawing maps, writing down important details, and explaining stuff super convenient. And it was so much fun! I'd already finished my history exam so I knew the material pretty well, so I just took them through all the stuff the same way I had studied it. My explanation of Assyria, Babylon, and all those other Near-Eastern countries was complete with tellings of all the details, dates, extra details, and even a special introduction to the Assyrian king affectionately known as Big Daddy Tiglath-Pilesar. (This is because when Ahaz king of Judah was being attacked by Rezin king of Syria and Pekah king of Israel, Ahaz called out to Tiglath-Pilesar king of Assyria for help. Tiglath was like, "I'm coming to save you widdle Judah, just give me some gold and I'll be on my way down. So Ahaz sent some gold up there and Tiglath saved him from his oppressors. That's why we call him Big Daddy. This all made so much more sense and was a ton funner at two in the morning several days earlier when I was first going over it, and the name kinda stuck.) I also added hypothetical conversations (Now I know that some of you may be tempted to think these very words (Concerning Big Daddy and the king I'm just about to 'quote') were said and passed down for generations in their current form, but please realize these words are just me explaining the details of what happened in a way so everybody understands and remembers better. [That is, if any of you were actually wondering if I was quoting a source document; which I was not, I can assure you. {Wow, just realized I'm going a little overboard with all the parenthetical explanations. This is probably going to be kinda confusing to read, but bear with me. (But please do realize it was necessary because it wasn't quite the right time to start a new paragraph because I'm still going to be continuing the narrative where we left off when I started this. [This, funny enough, I just realized, will probably make no sense after such a long interlude. {You should probably go back, read the beginning of the sentence, then skip all the parentheses and keep reading. (You can thank me later for such stellar advice. [Ok wow, this is really getting out of hand, I need to stop. {Oh, but do realize I at least remembered to end all my parentheses correctly! (To be honest I'm kinda proud of that. [Right, that's enough, back to the narrative!])}])}])}]) that the various kings had. (Such as: "And then Shalmeneser III was like, "Sit down!!" and Jehu and Ben-Hadad and their armies got tore to shreds." Or again, "...and so Samaria fell. And that was the end of Israel, they're gone, wiped off the map. [here I erased 'Israel' off the whiteboard] At least now there's not so many countries to keep track of!) And, last but not least, sound effects. Those are very necessary, and they get the point across clearly and succinctly. We made a lot of progress and got through a bunch of material. It was so much fun! (I found out later it really helped them with their exams, so that made it that much better!)
After about an hour and a half or so of that, I had to leave them. It was about five past eleven when I got to Winco, where I bought a gallon each of vanilla ice cream and milk. And then I drove back to my place, where plenty of the people from frisbee and smashface had already congregated for our... I don't know what you call. Soon enough we started making pancakes and frying chicken, and around half-past midnight we had a decent meal. Ooh, but before that we ate ice cream and apple crisp and apple pie that some of the girls had made. (If I remember right it was Charli, Ruth, and Hannah G) At one point everybody was all in a big circle talking, except a couple of us in the kitchen. And then it happened! I'd been waiting all day for this moment. Luke and Ruth were talking, and she found out it hadn't been him, but me! Here I need to explain myself a bit. Earlier this morning everybody was frantically studying for our Latin final that afternoon, and everybody and his brother was publishing new google docs and posting them on the Latin page for everybody else to study. Well, Ruth made one covering all those proper names that decline really weird. At the moment she posted it, I happened to be online. I clicked on it. At the top right screen it shows who all is 'on' the google doc. There was only Ruth and myself, but since I wasn't logged into a google account I showed up on the doc as an anonymous pumpkin. This sparked an idea in my mind. It was the perfect time to have fun with my anonymity! Here is the full conversation for your viewing pleasure. (I'll use brackets to explain what's happening, everything else is what was actually written.)
First here's the original, for all yall who like to read things in their original context. Translation is below, with notes. Quick warning: everything is funnier in Latin, so although the English may not be the funniest thing and some things may seem crude or out of place, just remember that it all makes better sense in Latin.
Ego sum magnus citrulus… mirabilis
est.
hahaha Quis vero es?
Mene non potes agnoscere?
Esne…
deus quam Linus adorat?
Ita vero. Dominus sum. Sed non mihi
placet Linus amictum suum trahere per terras. Ergo punio
eum et
tantum licet eum flores edere.
Good grief!
Salvete alii animales! Ii sunt
‘racists’ quia non volunt dicere mecum quia herba sum… aheu heu.
Non video te, Herba Ignota! Quis an
Quae es?
Rectus quaestionis est, ‘Quid es?’
O di immortales, salve me ab hostibus qui corrigit meum grammaticum.
Et dii respondunt tibi, “Non,” et
deridet te.
QUI ESTIS?? IGNOTI ESTIS MIHI.
Nunc pluralis sum… er, sumus?
… Esne… LEVI ASINUS????
Minime. Roga rursus.
ESNE…. MASCULINUS AN FEMININUS?
Non licet mihi dicere.
Esne… animal, holus, an mineralis?
Heu… femininis sum.
LYDIA ES.
Tune putas ego sum Lydia?? Non sum.
Heu! Ah! Es Alatea.
Oportet mihi fati aliquid… ego sum masculinus. Tantum volo videre quae tu putas ego sum si putas me femininis sum.
Good grief!
Ergo… Luca es?
Recte dicis. Hahaha
Tu cruciandum es.
Nunc necesse est mihi discedere, vale!
Vale!
[Multas horas post]
NON erat Lucas! Tu falsa es!! Ruta, tu recta eras primÅ tempore. ;)
QUID….NAMMMM?? Delectat omnes deridere me!
Me: I am the Great Pumpkin... that's amazing.
Ruth: hahaha Who are you really?
Me: What, you're not able to recognize me?
Ruth: Are you... the god whom Linus [that kid from Charlie Brown] adores?
Me: It is so. I am the lord. But it does not please me that Linus drags his blanket all oveer the ground. Therefore I punish him and only allow him to eat flowers.
Ruth: Good grief!
[Here a couple other people came on the google doc as evidenced by their anonymous animals]
Me: Hello other animals!
[None of the anonymous animals typed anything]
Me: They are racists because they don't want to talk with me because I'm a plant. *sob sob
One of the random animals: I didn't see you, Unknown Plant! Who are you?
Me: The right question is, 'What are you?'
[Here Benjamin came and corrected my vocabulary usage, saying I should've used 'interrogatum', not 'quaestionis'.]
Me: O immortal gods, [When using Latin we tend to use it how Romans would have, and it's hard to explain, but it can be funny when used in Latin, just it doesn't translate over very well.] save me from my enemies who correct my grammar.
Ruth: And the gods respond, "No." and laugh at you.
Ruth: WHO ARE YOU?? YOU ARE UNKOWN TO ME.
Me: Now I am plural... er, we are plural? [She made a grammar mistake which meant I was plural.]
Ruth: ...Are you... Levy the donkey???? [Read between the lines here what donkey really signifies.]
[By the way, that was WAY funnier in Latin. There's no good way to capture the humor here.]
Me: Not even close. Ask again. [Her first guess was right, but now the fun really begins!]Ruth: ARE YOU.... MASCULINE OR FEMININE?
Me: I'm not allowed to say.
Ruth: Are you... animal, vegetable, or mineral?
Me: (sigh of resignation) I am feminine.
Ruth: YOU ARE LYDIA. [First she wrote Kyla, but then deleted and wrote Lydia.]
Me: And you think I am Lydia?? I am not.
Ruth: Aww! Ah! You're Alathea.
Me: I should confess something... I'm masculine. I just wanted to see who'd you think I was if you thought I was feminine.
Ruth: Good grief! Well then... Are you Luke?
Me: That's right! Hahaha
Ruth: You oughta be tortured.
Me: Well, I gotta get going now, bye!
Ruth: Goodbye!
[some time later]
Luke: It was NOT Luke! You were lied to!! Ruth, you were right the first time. ;)
Ruth: WHAT... FORRRR?? Does it delight everybody to scorn me!
[Evidently she missed the part saying how she was right at first and still didn't know it was me, just only that it wasn't Luke.]
[Halfway through this narrative Luke came downstairs and was wondering what in the world I was laughing so heartily about, so I showed him what I was up to and he laughed too.]
So I basically just framed Luke for this whole thing. Right before this conversation ended, Luke left to go to the school, but I ran after him and caught him before he was out of the parking lot.
"Oh, if you see Ruth, make sure not to say anything!"
"Alright, got it! haha Let me know how long you drag it out for!"
And then I promptly threw him under the bus. And that's how Ruth went through the whole day thinking it was Luke who had done this whole extensive thingy. Fast forward to tonight when Luke just told Ruth it was me and not him.
She was like, "IT WAS YOU! AGHH, I SHOULD'VE KNOWN!!
I just laughed my head off, beaming smiles at what I'd pulled off. Of course, everybody else had no idea what had just transpired and were wondering why Ruth was yelling with such shock and dismay. So I told the story of what had happened and filled everybody in on it, and then we all had a good laugh.
Then Bobby and Rachel thought it'd be a great idea to play spoons, so we started a humongous game of it. Part way through Ruth got super tired and started to go home, so I gave her a ride and dropped her off at her place. When I got back it was down to just Hannah A and Ben P. Then a second later Ben grabbed the last spoon, and that was that. Then we sat around and talked for a while about all sorts of things, and by an by Hannah, too, decided it was time to get going. It was quite late by this time, (it was late to start with!) so I drove her back as well. We continued talking in our now smaller circle, (other people had left too) delving into Ben's perception on hugging, and after that unpacking Kat's thoughts about how she respects reserved people. That got into a whole discussion which I shan't get into right now, but by and by Luke and Christy, who had been cleaning the kitchen and talking, finished up and joined us. Christy just stood on the carpet instead of sitting down, and a couple minutes later I asked if she wanted to go home. She looked tired, which was definitely the case since I had seen her fall asleep, while standing, and do that thingy where you nod your head down then wake up and jerk your head upright again. She was definitely tired, and that's the reason she gave for standing, because it'd keep her awake. But she sat down anyway Indian style (with legs crossed and back in an upright position) and promptly fell asleep, or at least almost out of consciousness. A little after this, at about three in the morning, we decided to call it and all go back home. Ben drove off, John stayed because he was just going to crash at our place, and the six girls went out. Kat came back in a second later to find her phone, then left again. Then we found Rachel's phone, so I ran out to catch them before they drove off. Except they weren't driving off, but just walking towards home. I thought Charli had driven her car! I caught up with Rachel and gave her the phone, then petitioned them to let me drive them back since it'd be so much easier.
Charli queried, "Is there even enough room for all of us?"
"Oh yes, there's plenty of room."
At this news they were all down for it except Charli, who wanted to walk.
"Ok well yall just go on ahead, I want to walk."
But Christy implored, "But Charli, you should come with us! You shouldn't walk back all by yourself!"
"No, really, I'll be fine. Go on and ride!"
Then Christy pulled a super diplomatic move. "Fine, well since you don't want to come with us I guess we'll ALL just have to walk because you don't want to ride."
So everybody turned around and started walking back toward Charli. At last though, she caved.
"Ugh, oh all right!"
And so it was decided. Three jumped into the back and the rest piled into the cab. And then those in the cab started laughing, so I looked up. There was Luke and John, with the curtains pulled back, staring out at us wondering what was taking me so long to drop off a phone. They were making funny, exaggerated expressions, staring in mock shock, awe, and wonder. We all laughed once more and drove off. A little later they were all back home and I was back at my place, exhausted. So I went to bed.
And that was that. Fall break, here I come!
Monday, October 2, 2017
Library Looting
Sunday, October 1st, 2017
My Loot Dialogue is due tomorrow. Consequently I was just now putting the finishing touches on it, getting my citations in order and scrambling to find page numbers for them all. *sigh* It was around half till nine, and I was making slow but steady progress. I got up and hand-brewed some spice dragon red chai caffeine free herbal tea anyways. Valde me delectat. Not ten or fifteen minutes later Luke came home. He fried up some beef and I took the opportunity to get some bread rising so I could bake it tomorrow afternoon. Or maybe that came first and then I made tea. At any rate, he told me his plans for the evening, mentioned in passing that certain people were at the U of I library, and then went up to bed. That was enough for me. I shot Hannah of a text asking if they were indeed looting at the U of I library, to which she responded by telling me where they were and entreating me with, "Join us, comrade." So I packed up my bag, hopped in the truck, and was there in ten minutes or so. Well, there was a whole cohort of us there. So much so that they had dragged a table to add it to the other table to form a bigger table while a different table was also being used across the room. Bobby asked me to sit down at his right hand, and that was the start of it. I made considerable progress on my Loot Dialogue, while every now and then somebody would crack a joke, find a hilarious meme, or start a really awkward conversation that you could hardly not join in and listen. Things so far out in left-field you don't know where they came from like, "So John, would you let anybody at this table do your makeup, and if so, who?" We were dying. It was too funny.
At some point I finished my Loot, and then I moved next to Hannah and we started working through the Natural History oral study guide. That was quite enlightening and we both made a lot of headway. Then around, what was it, one or so? One-thirty? The second wave of people left, the first having left around midnight, leaving Hannah and I to finish our studying. (There was still a lot of ground to cover!) And then it hit me: I had left my computer open on the other end of the table next to Bobby for quite some time. I hoped he hadn't done anything, but I felt like he had. Sure enough, he changed my profile picture to the cookie monster and my computer background to what's her face, some popular pop singer. *..sigh....* He even had a big long chat with Rachel through my computer about what they should do. As soon as I found this out I fixed everything and sent them both a message saying that I shall be avenged. You just wait, he'll never see it coming.
Well we continued to make good progress and then we finally made it through and got everything down. We quizzed each other over all the questions and then called it a night. Hannah had her oral exam at nine this morning, and as we walked out of the library it was about two fifty-one or so. Hahae, late night. It's definitely finals week now. On the way to her house we had a scintillating conversation about dreams, dreaming, and that weird state when you're falling asleep and you become asleep but are somehow still aware of the fact. By the time I got back to my place it was a little after three and I threw my stuff on the floor and plopped into bed. Thus begins our final exams.
My Loot Dialogue is due tomorrow. Consequently I was just now putting the finishing touches on it, getting my citations in order and scrambling to find page numbers for them all. *sigh* It was around half till nine, and I was making slow but steady progress. I got up and hand-brewed some spice dragon red chai caffeine free herbal tea anyways. Valde me delectat. Not ten or fifteen minutes later Luke came home. He fried up some beef and I took the opportunity to get some bread rising so I could bake it tomorrow afternoon. Or maybe that came first and then I made tea. At any rate, he told me his plans for the evening, mentioned in passing that certain people were at the U of I library, and then went up to bed. That was enough for me. I shot Hannah of a text asking if they were indeed looting at the U of I library, to which she responded by telling me where they were and entreating me with, "Join us, comrade." So I packed up my bag, hopped in the truck, and was there in ten minutes or so. Well, there was a whole cohort of us there. So much so that they had dragged a table to add it to the other table to form a bigger table while a different table was also being used across the room. Bobby asked me to sit down at his right hand, and that was the start of it. I made considerable progress on my Loot Dialogue, while every now and then somebody would crack a joke, find a hilarious meme, or start a really awkward conversation that you could hardly not join in and listen. Things so far out in left-field you don't know where they came from like, "So John, would you let anybody at this table do your makeup, and if so, who?" We were dying. It was too funny.
At some point I finished my Loot, and then I moved next to Hannah and we started working through the Natural History oral study guide. That was quite enlightening and we both made a lot of headway. Then around, what was it, one or so? One-thirty? The second wave of people left, the first having left around midnight, leaving Hannah and I to finish our studying. (There was still a lot of ground to cover!) And then it hit me: I had left my computer open on the other end of the table next to Bobby for quite some time. I hoped he hadn't done anything, but I felt like he had. Sure enough, he changed my profile picture to the cookie monster and my computer background to what's her face, some popular pop singer. *..sigh....* He even had a big long chat with Rachel through my computer about what they should do. As soon as I found this out I fixed everything and sent them both a message saying that I shall be avenged. You just wait, he'll never see it coming.
Well we continued to make good progress and then we finally made it through and got everything down. We quizzed each other over all the questions and then called it a night. Hannah had her oral exam at nine this morning, and as we walked out of the library it was about two fifty-one or so. Hahae, late night. It's definitely finals week now. On the way to her house we had a scintillating conversation about dreams, dreaming, and that weird state when you're falling asleep and you become asleep but are somehow still aware of the fact. By the time I got back to my place it was a little after three and I threw my stuff on the floor and plopped into bed. Thus begins our final exams.
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