Well, I'm alive. Not quite sure how I did it, but, well.. yeah. This whole week has been a blur, I can hardly remember all the stuff I did. I seem to remember a couple late nights at the U of I library, complete with hours of studying, butter with bread I baked, those sorts of exercises you can do in an empty library at two in the morning to give yourself some relief from all the mental work, and long stints of giving life advice to whoever happened to be present. At any rate, I passed all my exams (or at least I assume so, though I haven't got the grades back yet) and that's an end to it. You're probably not that interested in reading all about exactly everything I studied and how each and every exam went and all the other stuff related to it, and I know for sure that I certainly don't want to revisit this week all over again, especially so soon after finishing it. So I'll just save us all the trouble and only write about the fun stuff that happened at the end of the week.
Thursday, October 5th
To celebrate the finish of finals week, a lot of us went to the turf field and played frisbee and smashface. Part way through I ran over to the library and helped Brooke, Anna, and Mariah, while George and Darcey popped in and out. (Some people had finals on Friday but most of us were done on Thursday.) They'd managed to get the awesome spot with a circle table surrounding by three huge whiteboards. This made drawing maps, writing down important details, and explaining stuff super convenient. And it was so much fun! I'd already finished my history exam so I knew the material pretty well, so I just took them through all the stuff the same way I had studied it. My explanation of Assyria, Babylon, and all those other Near-Eastern countries was complete with tellings of all the details, dates, extra details, and even a special introduction to the Assyrian king affectionately known as Big Daddy Tiglath-Pilesar. (This is because when Ahaz king of Judah was being attacked by Rezin king of Syria and Pekah king of Israel, Ahaz called out to Tiglath-Pilesar king of Assyria for help. Tiglath was like, "I'm coming to save you widdle Judah, just give me some gold and I'll be on my way down. So Ahaz sent some gold up there and Tiglath saved him from his oppressors. That's why we call him Big Daddy. This all made so much more sense and was a ton funner at two in the morning several days earlier when I was first going over it, and the name kinda stuck.) I also added hypothetical conversations (Now I know that some of you may be tempted to think these very words (Concerning Big Daddy and the king I'm just about to 'quote') were said and passed down for generations in their current form, but please realize these words are just me explaining the details of what happened in a way so everybody understands and remembers better. [That is, if any of you were actually wondering if I was quoting a source document; which I was not, I can assure you. {Wow, just realized I'm going a little overboard with all the parenthetical explanations. This is probably going to be kinda confusing to read, but bear with me. (But please do realize it was necessary because it wasn't quite the right time to start a new paragraph because I'm still going to be continuing the narrative where we left off when I started this. [This, funny enough, I just realized, will probably make no sense after such a long interlude. {You should probably go back, read the beginning of the sentence, then skip all the parentheses and keep reading. (You can thank me later for such stellar advice. [Ok wow, this is really getting out of hand, I need to stop. {Oh, but do realize I at least remembered to end all my parentheses correctly! (To be honest I'm kinda proud of that. [Right, that's enough, back to the narrative!])}])}])}]) that the various kings had. (Such as: "And then Shalmeneser III was like, "Sit down!!" and Jehu and Ben-Hadad and their armies got tore to shreds." Or again, "...and so Samaria fell. And that was the end of Israel, they're gone, wiped off the map. [here I erased 'Israel' off the whiteboard] At least now there's not so many countries to keep track of!) And, last but not least, sound effects. Those are very necessary, and they get the point across clearly and succinctly. We made a lot of progress and got through a bunch of material. It was so much fun! (I found out later it really helped them with their exams, so that made it that much better!)
After about an hour and a half or so of that, I had to leave them. It was about five past eleven when I got to Winco, where I bought a gallon each of vanilla ice cream and milk. And then I drove back to my place, where plenty of the people from frisbee and smashface had already congregated for our... I don't know what you call. Soon enough we started making pancakes and frying chicken, and around half-past midnight we had a decent meal. Ooh, but before that we ate ice cream and apple crisp and apple pie that some of the girls had made. (If I remember right it was Charli, Ruth, and Hannah G) At one point everybody was all in a big circle talking, except a couple of us in the kitchen. And then it happened! I'd been waiting all day for this moment. Luke and Ruth were talking, and she found out it hadn't been him, but me! Here I need to explain myself a bit. Earlier this morning everybody was frantically studying for our Latin final that afternoon, and everybody and his brother was publishing new google docs and posting them on the Latin page for everybody else to study. Well, Ruth made one covering all those proper names that decline really weird. At the moment she posted it, I happened to be online. I clicked on it. At the top right screen it shows who all is 'on' the google doc. There was only Ruth and myself, but since I wasn't logged into a google account I showed up on the doc as an anonymous pumpkin. This sparked an idea in my mind. It was the perfect time to have fun with my anonymity! Here is the full conversation for your viewing pleasure. (I'll use brackets to explain what's happening, everything else is what was actually written.)
First here's the original, for all yall who like to read things in their original context. Translation is below, with notes. Quick warning: everything is funnier in Latin, so although the English may not be the funniest thing and some things may seem crude or out of place, just remember that it all makes better sense in Latin.
Ego sum magnus citrulus… mirabilis
est.
hahaha Quis vero es?
Mene non potes agnoscere?
Esne…
deus quam Linus adorat?
Ita vero. Dominus sum. Sed non mihi
placet Linus amictum suum trahere per terras. Ergo punio
eum et
tantum licet eum flores edere.
Good grief!
Salvete alii animales! Ii sunt
‘racists’ quia non volunt dicere mecum quia herba sum… aheu heu.
Non video te, Herba Ignota! Quis an
Quae es?
Rectus quaestionis est, ‘Quid es?’
O di immortales, salve me ab hostibus qui corrigit meum grammaticum.
Et dii respondunt tibi, “Non,” et
deridet te.
QUI ESTIS?? IGNOTI ESTIS MIHI.
Nunc pluralis sum… er, sumus?
… Esne… LEVI ASINUS????
Minime. Roga rursus.
ESNE…. MASCULINUS AN FEMININUS?
Non licet mihi dicere.
Esne… animal, holus, an mineralis?
Heu… femininis sum.
LYDIA ES.
Tune putas ego sum Lydia?? Non sum.
Heu! Ah! Es Alatea.
Oportet mihi fati aliquid… ego sum masculinus. Tantum volo videre quae tu putas ego sum si putas me femininis sum.
Good grief!
Ergo… Luca es?
Recte dicis. Hahaha
Tu cruciandum es.
Nunc necesse est mihi discedere, vale!
Vale!
[Multas horas post]
NON erat Lucas! Tu falsa es!! Ruta, tu recta eras primÅ tempore. ;)
QUID….NAMMMM?? Delectat omnes deridere me!
Me: I am the Great Pumpkin... that's amazing.
Ruth: hahaha Who are you really?
Me: What, you're not able to recognize me?
Ruth: Are you... the god whom Linus [that kid from Charlie Brown] adores?
Me: It is so. I am the lord. But it does not please me that Linus drags his blanket all oveer the ground. Therefore I punish him and only allow him to eat flowers.
Ruth: Good grief!
[Here a couple other people came on the google doc as evidenced by their anonymous animals]
Me: Hello other animals!
[None of the anonymous animals typed anything]
Me: They are racists because they don't want to talk with me because I'm a plant. *sob sob
One of the random animals: I didn't see you, Unknown Plant! Who are you?
Me: The right question is, 'What are you?'
[Here Benjamin came and corrected my vocabulary usage, saying I should've used 'interrogatum', not 'quaestionis'.]
Me: O immortal gods, [When using Latin we tend to use it how Romans would have, and it's hard to explain, but it can be funny when used in Latin, just it doesn't translate over very well.] save me from my enemies who correct my grammar.
Ruth: And the gods respond, "No." and laugh at you.
Ruth: WHO ARE YOU?? YOU ARE UNKOWN TO ME.
Me: Now I am plural... er, we are plural? [She made a grammar mistake which meant I was plural.]
Ruth: ...Are you... Levy the donkey???? [Read between the lines here what donkey really signifies.]
[By the way, that was WAY funnier in Latin. There's no good way to capture the humor here.]
Me: Not even close. Ask again. [Her first guess was right, but now the fun really begins!]Ruth: ARE YOU.... MASCULINE OR FEMININE?
Me: I'm not allowed to say.
Ruth: Are you... animal, vegetable, or mineral?
Me: (sigh of resignation) I am feminine.
Ruth: YOU ARE LYDIA. [First she wrote Kyla, but then deleted and wrote Lydia.]
Me: And you think I am Lydia?? I am not.
Ruth: Aww! Ah! You're Alathea.
Me: I should confess something... I'm masculine. I just wanted to see who'd you think I was if you thought I was feminine.
Ruth: Good grief! Well then... Are you Luke?
Me: That's right! Hahaha
Ruth: You oughta be tortured.
Me: Well, I gotta get going now, bye!
Ruth: Goodbye!
[some time later]
Luke: It was NOT Luke! You were lied to!! Ruth, you were right the first time. ;)
Ruth: WHAT... FORRRR?? Does it delight everybody to scorn me!
[Evidently she missed the part saying how she was right at first and still didn't know it was me, just only that it wasn't Luke.]
[Halfway through this narrative Luke came downstairs and was wondering what in the world I was laughing so heartily about, so I showed him what I was up to and he laughed too.]
So I basically just framed Luke for this whole thing. Right before this conversation ended, Luke left to go to the school, but I ran after him and caught him before he was out of the parking lot.
"Oh, if you see Ruth, make sure not to say anything!"
"Alright, got it! haha Let me know how long you drag it out for!"
And then I promptly threw him under the bus. And that's how Ruth went through the whole day thinking it was Luke who had done this whole extensive thingy. Fast forward to tonight when Luke just told Ruth it was me and not him.
She was like, "IT WAS YOU! AGHH, I SHOULD'VE KNOWN!!
I just laughed my head off, beaming smiles at what I'd pulled off. Of course, everybody else had no idea what had just transpired and were wondering why Ruth was yelling with such shock and dismay. So I told the story of what had happened and filled everybody in on it, and then we all had a good laugh.
Then Bobby and Rachel thought it'd be a great idea to play spoons, so we started a humongous game of it. Part way through Ruth got super tired and started to go home, so I gave her a ride and dropped her off at her place. When I got back it was down to just Hannah A and Ben P. Then a second later Ben grabbed the last spoon, and that was that. Then we sat around and talked for a while about all sorts of things, and by an by Hannah, too, decided it was time to get going. It was quite late by this time, (it was late to start with!) so I drove her back as well. We continued talking in our now smaller circle, (other people had left too) delving into Ben's perception on hugging, and after that unpacking Kat's thoughts about how she respects reserved people. That got into a whole discussion which I shan't get into right now, but by and by Luke and Christy, who had been cleaning the kitchen and talking, finished up and joined us. Christy just stood on the carpet instead of sitting down, and a couple minutes later I asked if she wanted to go home. She looked tired, which was definitely the case since I had seen her fall asleep, while standing, and do that thingy where you nod your head down then wake up and jerk your head upright again. She was definitely tired, and that's the reason she gave for standing, because it'd keep her awake. But she sat down anyway Indian style (with legs crossed and back in an upright position) and promptly fell asleep, or at least almost out of consciousness. A little after this, at about three in the morning, we decided to call it and all go back home. Ben drove off, John stayed because he was just going to crash at our place, and the six girls went out. Kat came back in a second later to find her phone, then left again. Then we found Rachel's phone, so I ran out to catch them before they drove off. Except they weren't driving off, but just walking towards home. I thought Charli had driven her car! I caught up with Rachel and gave her the phone, then petitioned them to let me drive them back since it'd be so much easier.
Charli queried, "Is there even enough room for all of us?"
"Oh yes, there's plenty of room."
At this news they were all down for it except Charli, who wanted to walk.
"Ok well yall just go on ahead, I want to walk."
But Christy implored, "But Charli, you should come with us! You shouldn't walk back all by yourself!"
"No, really, I'll be fine. Go on and ride!"
Then Christy pulled a super diplomatic move. "Fine, well since you don't want to come with us I guess we'll ALL just have to walk because you don't want to ride."
So everybody turned around and started walking back toward Charli. At last though, she caved.
"Ugh, oh all right!"
And so it was decided. Three jumped into the back and the rest piled into the cab. And then those in the cab started laughing, so I looked up. There was Luke and John, with the curtains pulled back, staring out at us wondering what was taking me so long to drop off a phone. They were making funny, exaggerated expressions, staring in mock shock, awe, and wonder. We all laughed once more and drove off. A little later they were all back home and I was back at my place, exhausted. So I went to bed.
And that was that. Fall break, here I come!
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