On The Degradation Of Society

October 8th, 2017

A couple days ago, someone congratulated me on the fact that we now had a 'real' trashcan. It's one of those tall white ones that can hold a regular trashbag full of trash, and it even has one of those fancy foot levers that opens it with the press of a foot. Previously all we had was a little trashcan which only holds a plastic grocery bag's worth of trash. Our new trashcan, as it was thought, was a vast improvement.

But was it really? I don't think so. I had been against getting a new trashcan. Not that there was ever a conversation about upgrading to a bigger trashcan, but I had already thought about it and rejected the potential upgrade on principal. Here's why:

1. The baby trashcans save money because you never need to buy liners for them. That's where all those plastic bags go that we get at the grocery store, which leads me to my next point:

2. They recycle, keeping the earth green. (For those of you who know me pretty well, this may sound funny, but it's true. I'm only against recycling when it is compulsory or federally funded.) Re-purposing is probably a better word for it. At any rate, all those grocery bags you get from the store are used as trash bags, and are not thrown away in the trash. (Hahae, they are not thrown away uselessly in the trash.)

3. They can be relied upon to give you almost daily opportunities for furthering your sanctification.

That last point is my main one. What is more annoying than constantly having to take out a miniscule bag of trash over and over and over again? It fills up so quickly! It gets so annoying that you try all you can to not have to take it out. You're like, "Eh, I can fit one more empty jug of milk in there. Five more egg shells and a butter wrapper? Yeah, go ahead, it'll fit." Before long you're competing to see who's the better architect and not cause this monolith of human achievement to topple. I mean, once it gets over a cubit above the top of the can you start getting a little proud, maybe even arrogant. "Who has built this tower and laid its foundation?" you'll say. "And who will continue to build it until Friday night when we have company come over and I don't want us to look like the slobs we are and finally throw it into the dumpster? Me! None but my hands have wrought this great deed!" and you pat yourself on the back. Well, this may not be everyone's temptation, but in general people do their best to avoid taking it out. "Eh, that's what flatmates are for. They'll get around to it eventually." we all say. But the problem is, we all say it. Everybody thinks everybody else should do it, or worse, thinks that 'somebody ought to' take the trash. 'Somebody ought to...' is a very dangerous phrase. Generally, if you find yourself thinking this, that 'somebody' should probably be you, and you're probably part of the problem.

So you see, then, the temptations surrounding little trashcans, and our natural propensity to avoid the problem, through sloth, apathy, an outright refusal to do as one ought, or the trump card of all excuses, "I'm just too busy right now." Funny how such a small little thing can bring all those vices we pretend aren't there to the surface! That's what makes little trashcans such an essential household item. No other thing I know of provides such a great training opportunity for resisting the temptations of laziness and excuse-making. It's a way to strengthen you in the areas you need it most, while doing so in a place where the consequences are minimal. This is what makes little trashcans so great, and why we should keep them around.